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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

it's been a month.

hello there. :)

It's been a month since i last blog. Blogging used to be a part of my life last time but these days school works tend to take over my every interest. oh well! Let's just say time flies it really does. Within this month things change so quickly. I've finished 3 of my papers and 2 left. I had my birthday celebration. I have friends who are leaving. My sister gone back to M'sia. I officially braces free. :) One thing I feel weird about is myself. Things around me really change a lot yet I am still trying to loose weight, wishing so hard to get through every little things. However, here I am gone through so many things... good or bad. OH WELL!

Fluffy is so fluffy these days and i love her. <3

So in another month time I might be in M'sia enjoying my summer break with the besties. I cant wait to go back and meet them and annoy them all day long. :) Before these thoughts the first thing i have to go through is my other two paper. Sociology and Eco. OMFG! I just cant wait to go through them no matter how many credits I gotta have within this year. lol!

Anyway, I have to go now. Really need to start study for my last two papers and work starts! :)
Life has been pretty good. :3
and I will show you how good it has been through my face expression. heheeeee

Nicole dropped by and work on our video. :D

day before my braces off and day after. :)

right after a day and i put on my retainer. :D

later blog walkers. :D

Saturday, October 22, 2011

less than 20 days.

let's speak out the truth.

Exam starts on the 10th and guess there isnt much time left...
I dont wanna do a countdown 'cause i know when i do it i will get real stress and doing more shitty stuff. im gonna b so fucked up if i really dont start my revision now. I dont get how can my time table be so like a mess. first two days then math then the last two days i got two papers. OMFG, like seriously do you have to do this to me?! To be honest, within this holiday i only spent one day to do my english, math revision. other than that, my folders are all staying at the same place. :x

Frankly, I dont know what happen to me... time pass by and all i left is the laziness dragging me around. like today... I spend my time on sleep, tv and musics. Doing these shits cheer me a little but when the exam approach I gonna be so dead and stress out. I knew it but i dont know why... nobody will understand me in a moment like this. - misery, fckedup, mindfucked and all shitty feelings just come to me. :X

I can't do it. This time is harder than any time I used to be in. It has the right to affect my future and it sucks. Nobody is pulling me up when I'm drowning so badly... the time table I made is so UGH!

I wake up every morning and I say to myself, - 
"just leave the memories behind and everything will be just fine."
yet, I didn't mean it at all.


Saturday, October 15, 2011

matha eff-er.

I have no idea what was I posting in da previous post!
Life has been so hard and I miss having people that would go through the ups and downs with me at anytime.

10 years.
Time flies.
Now I realized how much we have grown and changed.
to better or worse? nobody knows. :x

time to sleep and work hard tomorrow peeps.

have a great night dolls. :D

An idea.

*ignore this post if you hate bullshits*

Holiday has been gone for about 7 days, 9 days to go till this holiday ends then school for one and a half week then NCEA starts. I have a plan before this holiday yet I didnt actually follow it. The only thing I have followed was get my Learner done and hell to the yes! I've passed my Learner license. :) 

Anyway, let's talk about some other shits now. As people know there's always an idea behind everything, not matter what it is. Well for me I think behind a design there's always an idea that can not be explained. It will be explained until the artist say it out by him/herself.


I dont know why am I saying this but I used to think I was born for a reason or maybe an idea to deliver. People say I look like my dad and I really dont think I do. In fact, i thought i was meant to be someone like my dad but not physically. Until this holiday I realize who I really am in this family. A supportive member? A maid? A family that being used? An unknown? or maybe someone who related to you but you have no idea what's the truth of being born in a family. PHEW! I'm out of the topic maybe I shouldn't have talk about it.

ANYWAY! Imma get myself up and face the fact. The time is ticking away and there's not much time left which mean it is now the time to appreciate and do whatever is good for yourself but not for others. Sometimes, whoever you think they are nice; they are not but there are some exception. hmm...

OH WELL! time for some release and get your nerve prepared! :)

just realized this is my first photo which I smile without showing my braces. :)
guess is not that bad for you! :x


Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Songs that never get old are hard to find. Yet I found two albums that I will never press the stop button.

Firstly, 李佳薇 a Malaysian that win星光7班 and just released her album [感謝愛人]. This album include 10 songs and truly 10 of them are amazing. She has a voice that I will never get over with. I'm so gonna get her album when i got back to M'sia for sure. 
Highly recommend you to listen to 分隔線 and 大火. She sings so well and I can honestly say every time i listen to her live through video all you can feel is that moment when your goosebumps stand straight up eventually.

分隔線 live by  李佳薇

Besides, another album that I cant get enough with is 4 by Beyonce. Honestly, at first i think this album is kinda crap but after when you listen her song one by one it catches your ears.
I dont understand how she can actually dance so hard out when she's pregnant and she's gorgeous no matter what. Tell me who wouldn't sing her song when you're in karaoke. For me at least you have to sing two of her songs if not it doesnt count as karaoke. :X
In this album, I love a song named "I Was Here" and I can never go near the stop button. She's a great singer and she can do anything! Sing, dance, act and even her life is so happy with Jay-Z . :) *ootyrramretfaxes* heheee

This is a good song too! 
Just press play and you will never b regret w. it! :)

Anyway, gotta off and study for tomorrow's test now.
Hope you guys enjoy listening to musics and as we know music will never get enough in our life! :)


Friday, September 30, 2011

bye Sep.

Title says it all.

I have no idea what to blog but i just feel like blogging at the last day of September and on a Friday night. I should say almost every Friday nights i tend to stay alone in my messy room, do things that i shouldn't be doing, spend time on the same thing and just look at the books without getting a thing into my mind. O well, that's me I guess.

So I booked my ticket to go back Msia. In fact, I was so excited to go back at first but after i got it I'm like nothing even happened. Anyway, go back to the past I see nothing. Two months ago I asked her about my future and she said I still have plenty of time yet after two months all i got from her as a teacher was "you should have planned all these earlier! you're in year 12 and you dont even have your own goal yet!" My reaction was as usual - STARED. There's nothing much i can do i guess. As I grow older and older the time tend to tick faster and faster and it will never stopped. Is it simple or complicated? I got complicated now. :x

Let's see...
I have been working so hard with my photography portfolio and finally...
I'm done with it and hopefully I will get 'em printed in photography condition.
DARK ROOM! Imma come and visit you soon. :)

a sneak peek for the viewers of what was I working on for the last few months.
Light bulbs, lava lamp and lights. :D

Saturday, September 24, 2011

the day we got wasted and cam whore.

The first sleepover I ever organised in NZ and it was great. So the second day after mocks finished and almost the same people came to my place and planned to get a wasted night. Talk about the first day right after the mocks, I remembered we all went to karaoke which was the asian's love as always. There were 7 of us and we got high in da middle of da street and trynna do some random shits in Starbucks while there were more than 50 people. oh well! a part of teenage life anyhow. *Starbucks instead of drinking* Got back around 12 and I satisfied with it. :)

Continue with the second night, Thursday and no school on Friday. *woohoo* The girls came to my place around 8 and we started our lovely chat about everything and everyone. :D Guess it shouldn't be named as a sleep over in fact we didn't actually sleep. I mean they did but not me and Selina. Both of us just tended to chat whole night and non-stop until William wakes up off to school. lol.

Guess now is the time to let the photos do the talking.

*while they were chatting I shouted "cheese!" and they squeezed in. :) *

they are lovely. :D

We got crazy anyhow. :3

after the energy we got noodles as supper or maybe dinner i guess. :)
there were delicious but a lil too salty thanks to "Lydia"

waiting water to be boiled.

Aliens in da house. ewwwww


Woke up around 10 then off to McD for breakfast. :)
We were hyped! 

ALIENS everywhere. heheee
please ask 'em to go back to mars.

I'm done with a photo post and if you're my weekly viewer,
you would definitely know it has been ages since I last blog something like this and I used to do it at least twice a week before. :x
As the time goes, people change. lazier , uglier, fattier and more dumb.

Allow me to give you a shock! :D
I dont give a damn with my imagine anymore. :p

teehee. :D

Somebody got wasted and the photo is secretly in my phone. :3

Saturday, September 17, 2011


There it just passed. Finally, I have finished my mocks exam and thank God I actually finish it although i know the result will be real crappy. Let's just say I did not even start to study until the night before an exam. As a result i failed most of my paper. So call a mock would not effect on my life I suppose. I remembered i did almost the same thing last year and i was way easier than this year. In fact, I really dont know what is going on with the school. those subjects just cant treat me as well as last year. well well well. this is just life isn't it.

Look at this photo:


a messy bed with a mess of dumb refill.

This photo clearly shows you i actually worked hard in my last paper which is Sociology yet all i got back the result was !@#$%^(*&. I dont even wanna take a real look with it. I feel like I just dont tend to give a damn with what is going to happen and this is so not good. :(

Sunday, September 11, 2011

laugh, love, smile and we are family.

4th of September. 
it was father's day and i remember when my dad first said he was going to come i was so excited and i can't even stop smiling. :) to be honest, it has been few months since i last saw him and overall within a year I didn't get to see him for more than a month. how sad is that. anyway. just before the day he leave NZ and off back to M'sia was father's day. We actually didn't celebrate Father's Day with him for about two years and i can see how a dad actually need love from the family. Well, now let the photos do some talking due to the broken English I have.

 Red velvet cake with dark chocolate toppings

look how cute is my dad. :3
he's the cutest man ever. <3

anyway, imma off to study.
Eco tomorrow and i can't wait till Wednesday so i can get my freedom back at least for 2 weeks. :D
imma fight you!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

these ain't right.

K. I'm done trying like totally.

So after today, four more weeks until mocks and I am totally stuck with economic, art history and sociology. 3 out of 6. just damn. a moment like this will never let me have a break. within these two weeks of schooling, i think i did not even get an average sleep hours for a day. As in today I slept for 10 hours like finally. I love Friday, it allows me to sleep away the sadness, stress and worries until Saturday. For hell's sake, if you wake up with a really good mood but it all being ruined due to one reason. Two women in the house having menstrual at the same time. Today, I finally realize how could it be when it happens. The arguments over the little things, the what the fck look from both of them make me feel like shit.

Today's routine was just the same as how every Saturday was. awake, eat, slack, homework, fluffy's bath time, slack, homework, work then eat, bath, slack, homework, and time for some sweet sleep. Compare to weekdays, i prefer weekdays.. wake up, school, lunch, real short nap, slack, homework, dinner, slack, homework and bath then homework and sleep. Almost everyday weekdays i did that unless i get to go out. To be honest, i am broke.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

this life is getting harder to get used to. Things are so much different then how it were. I miss the old times when I just worry about nothing and do whatever I want even though I am not suppose to do so. There were memories, I wonder how are things going on back there. The people, the place, the weather and the everything. Sometimes, I choose not to care but when I'm trying my best not to care there will be someone coming out and remind me of those little things. It is alright, perhaps things will be okay when time goes by. :)

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

bee zi la.

be who you really are.
you are

Seriously, I shouldn't be blogging on a Tuesday night where I have my math test tomorrow. Calculus test and I can never get Excellent for it. Achieve could be 100% sure but the 50% of Merit just making me insane. I have been working so hard out in math these days but guess what. I just dont get it thru at all.

I just realize most of the time I blogged about my school life instead of my own reality life. oppsy! In fact, I can't find anything interesting in my life other than these things. Anyway! My dad is here. He arrived on Sunday the 28th and he bought 90kgs things. NO! I did not type the wrong number. IT IS NINETY kgs. He bought at least 6 bottles of Sticky, 15 boxes of Royce chocolate, 4 Toblerone and etc. I am glad that he finally bought my teddy here! :) a gift from the love ones. TJY, TCW &TKH if im not wrong. lol! It has been more than a year since I got it. This is a huge one, doodolls! who wouldn't love 'em. They are soft and comfy. :D Besides, daddy bought a digital camera which is always the same model as usual and last but not least a Film SLR that I keen for ages. got a film and got the camera but the problem is i have no idea how to use it. heheeeeee.

Oh well! Imma try my best to expert with my DSLR first tho. So after two days of slacking for dad and his friends. They are now in upper north which he goes every time he comes. I love my family so much that i just can't stop pitching their faces for more than a week. heheeee

Gonna off to bed soon after another test revision paper for Calc. tata peeps. :D

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

the hang out. :3

Let me refresh my mind…

Sunday, 15th of August. Got out with the Taiwanese that I would never get annoy with, Selina and Kevin. Woke up at 10 and I smell FOOD! Damn it, mum was cooking asam laksa which I could never resist of. Heheee, this is the reason why am I so fat and never get skinny. I have a GREAT cook at home. :3 Anyway, back to the hang out. Selina came to my place around 12 and pick Kevin up from BK to go to Wairau. We planned to go and have dim sum but we ended to go and have a Vietnamese brunch. J it was great. Then rushed to Albany mall to catch up the movie time for “Rise of the Planets of the Ape” unfortunately we took too long to have our brunch. So we just chose to watch KF panda which was pretty boring. :x The hang out ended around 7 then got drive back home by Selina’s mum.

Photos of the day.

Taken from a HTC.

Taken from a BlackBerry.

And it is obvious that my BB wins. J

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

fly away.

I wish I could just tell you guys what we were last time. We weren’t in a relationship. We weren’t just friends. Perhaps a flirtationship. Then now both of us are just strangers. A total stranger. I wish they understand. I’m terrified. I’m afraid of awkward moments and the starred moment. Just not right. I don’t like it when they keep mentioning over the same freaking guy when it was totally a past. I tried to get over it but please just stop mention about the same thing when it just starts to get more boring than before. When it comes to this way, it is not a joke anymore. It starts to be annoying, people. Stay clear as crystal. Things tend to stuffed up and like seriously.

Going to the mid of term3’s week 1 and im struggling with subject choice for next year. Advises from them are fcked up and it almost the same as last year. Not good. Is always bad to go into a high school which accept international students. THEY ARE SO DAMN RACIST and nobody bother to complain about it. I’m wondering what am I going to be in the future. I have not much problem until this education thing is surrounding me. Im going to have subject choice done by this week and an English internal also the Art History. Omfg. I just realize I have to resit my Sociology assessment that I did last term and it was like a month ago. How am I supposed to remember with zero memories? DAMN!!!!! cbs dah.


Wing ring. J

Friday, July 29, 2011

you should be supportive.

I thought a change would be good. I thought they always wanted me to change. I thought they would be supportive. I thought they would not think that way. Those thoughts are just thoughts yet the fact is they laugh, they tease and they never thought how I would feel. Finally, I know how great they are. I’m glad. It wasn’t me to over think on purpose but teasing is not fun. Teasing can be a joke but sometimes there’s always some seriousness behind a joke and it’s not funny at all. Just uutieff.

I’m on the last Friday night of this holiday. It sucks. Holidays always pass in an extremely fast way, I just don’t get why I can’t get a holiday that I think it worth it all. ;X well, for the first week of this holiday I did some really healthy stuff. Visited Rangitoto Island for 6 hours and being exhausted for the whole frigging next day.


View from the island.

Played badminton for the whole afternoon and having cramps at night. Bad cough and headache came along after these healthy activities. Went to Wellington with mum for a so call one day trip. Went to shopping with Selina and I fall into a flat that I would ever want yet it ran outta size. Then for the weekend I spent on food, sleep, dramas and work.

For this second week I went to McDonald almost like every day to rush my assignments. Since I have wasted the whole week before and this time imma work harder (iplanned). Unfortunately, I only get 2 essays done and I have one essay and two assignments to work on. I should not feel this way but to be honest, photography is driving crazy and it is not a good sign. So I went to city today with KH to meet up sis and went for a walk then off to New Market. Sis got a pair or shoe and I got my first pair of ear rings and I spent 85nzd on it.


Umm, pretty worth I suppose. Marc by Marc Jacob is the thing. :3

Anyway, I’m searching for new shoes. L I suppose every type of shoes will be great except for heels. ;X I need more shoes, more clothes, more jeans and more hoodies. I walked pass the beats shop in city today and I really wanted one. I have been craving it for about two years and is just so fucking annoying that I cant save any money. Also I walked pass a shop, a toy models shop and I saw the collection of Jack Skellington and I craving for one. Just cost so damn much and I just wish I can afford everything that I wanted to buy. As people always say 世上沒有不勞而獲 perhaps they are right.

Time to go, tar peeps. J

Sunday, July 10, 2011

stop it, like seriously.


Don’t ask me what am I going to study in Uni. Don’t ask me why am I taking these random subjects together. Just don’t ask me why, what and how. I don’t know how to answer and I have never thought of those before. If I have a chance I would take a look at the future and so I could work hard from now on but no, it’s impossible. Gonna have subject choice done on the second week of term 3 and I have no idea what am I going study. I seem to be suck in everything just every single things and it is a disaster. A photographer? I cant have any new idea to take. A lawyer? Bad english language. Study business? What am I suppose to do in the future?! A sociologist? Bad english, Jess. ==

These fucking thoughts always pop out and it distract me, always. Not good girl, not good enough. I always wonder what’s the point of studying when the world just keeps changing in fact nobody cares about the history, the making off and the whatevers. What we study now don’t seem to relate back to this reality.

dont worry.

Within a week, I will get my two weeks holiday, ready for term 3 and the mock exams. Two assignments are due before this week and I am still blogging, working and wasting my time with some useless things. I’m shitty, I’m suck, I’m stress, and I’m tired. So tired… A life which fills with people more than people that I knew but all I feel was being left out, weird and just weird. I thought I have a better life than before, I thought I have a smile which is real, I thought this life was easy, and I hope things will be so much easier than now after.

Perhaps, everything will be fine.


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

honey, please show me your magic.

Three days, I have been coughing non-stop for three days. It sounds alright but actually not, talking to somebody when I cant actually hear what I am trying to tell others. Trying my best to deliver a message to a friend and they just don’t get it at all. Feeling so sleepy and sick during internal for the whole week. Try to concentrate during class but no. trying to get into a better sleep but the cough just woke me up. It sucks. All of these don’t work at all. It sucks real lot.

Everything is a mess even I am a mess too. One and a half week till holiday the end of term 2, I’m excited yet kinda depress. As everything is due, D;

Economic internal is on till this Fri, English creative writing assessment is due on next Tues, Sociology whole internal is due next Fri, Math test tomorrow, ArtHistory assessment checkpoint next Thurs and due on the first day of term 3. I wish time will just stop for a moment and let me get these things done. This is so hard. I miss the relaxing life I had before.

Just let it burn and make everything so smoothly like before.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

#865.) i cant take it.

It has been nearly a month since I last post something serious. Life’s been busy since term 2 has started. Assignments are issued and internal is going on and assessment is due and so on… school works tend to take over my life this term, 11 weeks and I just realize there’s two weeks left, just like that, 2011 is half over.

So the prom of Rangi was on the 30th of June and I wasn’t there. Actually im kinda regret for not attending that but still there’s one next year I suppose. Well, as people attend the ball I went to karaoke with Selina and Lydia. It was fun but the most exciting part was when three of us went to Starbucks and let the photo session started while other people were just staring at us with that weird eye sight. LOL! Got home around 11 and looking back through the photos we took I just thought of getting an iPad2 cause it helps to take awesome photos and those applications are so cool. Oh well, maybe I should just stop getting these stuff since money is no longer a thing to me anymore.


Money doesn’t seem to follow me more than a week. This is depressing and I dont actually know where I spent them on until the account balance is sent back to the house. Somehow, I just cant live without money and I need money to survive. D; ughhh, money can you just pop out in my wallet or maybe just increase in my bank account. ;C Maybe in my dream there will happened.

I need to face the fact. Money can’t buy you family, love or friends. Smile doesn’t mean you’re happy. Cracked up doesn’t mean it’s funny. Somehow, family will disappoint you and all you left is just depression.

Finally, after these years I’m sick. OFCIALLY SICK! Great.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


I have been blogging for four years and I never get bored of it until I know there’s twitter and tumblr which is so convenient to use. Not to say blogging is not convenient but I actually blog more on tumblr than in blogger. I don’t know why but it seems there’s like nothing much I can blog about nowadays. I remember the last time I blog because I want to share the story of my life with the super ‘lala’ english and the xs’ I used. Omg, I cant even look back into my older posts. To be honest, that’s pretty embarrassing to mention about. *pleasedontlookbacktheolderpostsiwrote*

I can say I spent at least two years time on blogger just to blog and be a blog walker. I tried to earn money with it but it seems to be so hard just to get 50 bucks MY it’s been two years I joined nuffnang but I only got 50 bucks once and I was so glad at that time. Yet now I’m like wasting 50 bucks a day and still not enough. The life I live in is getting harder, everything is getting harder the educations, friendships, bonding with family and also getting into a real relationship. People were saying that the life is easier with the technology but the truth is it changed our life. The life opportunities and the way we communicate. People used to write diaries and now they blog them out. People used to get photos printed out but now they upload into Facebook and that’s all.

Nowadays, people just don’t get how to stop judging a person throughout their outfits and the way they speak. Sometimes, a person could be speaking in a wrong way but maybe all he/she wants is just you to put some attention and understand him/her. A person may tell jokes all the time not just because he/she wants to be the entertainer but all he/she wants is just deliver the happiness to others or ever he/she just wants to over the sadness on their face. This life is complicated, you wouldn’t know what a person wants unless you ask and he/she tells.

So… I may not be perfect like other but at least I know how to get my thing done just before things turned too late. I admit that there are times when I feel regrets with the shits I have done yet it’s never too late get over it and have a new start, I suppose. ;L

I’m not skinny, rich, pretty, adorable, friendly, sociable or even party animal like others but maybe I can just get the friends who accept who I really am instead of acting like I’m comfy with everything when is not. :)


I love my twitter’s dp.

Sunday, June 12, 2011


Week 7, term 2.. four more weeks till midterm break. To be honest, I can’t wait till I get my break but before students get some rest all they need to do is rushing to get the assignments done and done with the internal. So week 7, it means I gonna be finishing my photography assignment and start another new one yet Sociology has the internal coming up and statistic internal on Thursday. Orhh emmm giii. I need to finish up my photos and get them printed then sociology survey analysis and the social issues internal’s facts. Holly shit, now I just realize how much work should be done just before the end of this term. So Chinese day is coming up and school’s prom night is coming up. I have made up my mind. Im going to go Chinese day but not the prom that might only happen once in a life time. So I gave an stupid excuse for not going is just that I cant accept myself with dress on, make up, heels and omg I just cant think of it anymore. D; this is depressing.


I just realize I have nothing to blog about these days. :x my life been going through the same routine every day and night. There’s no dream or even goals exist in my life anymore. I can’t crave for anything but just work. Work at mum’s place, school, home and perhaps life.

I don’t feel love but I wish to be loved. I’m totally over to somebody and I’m giving up on him. As a friend I wish he wouldn’t be doing the same thing to other girls. It hurts, you know have known.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Long weekend turned my switch on.

Thursday after school went out with Lydia, Rachael and Belinda to Takapuna to have dinner. Waited Rachael in school’s library until 430 then took a bus by ditching Nic alone. Heheee got home around 10 after coffee and food. J

Friday, went downtown with Selina.. was suppose to go karaoke but the rainy weather actually turned both of us off. :/ so we just had our brunch, shopping, and some kinda random stuff. The day was alright but it was so damn cold that day. :3

She trying to discover my BB. :)

Saturday, woke up and meet Rachael up to get another ear pierce. Hell yea, i just got the normal ear pierce done last Thurs. Just after a week I got another one. Heheeee. I was scared of getting pierce before but now I’m alright with them. Another two ear pierce? I can wait till it recovers but it only been for a week. To be honest, it hurt so much when you’re trying to sleep with them for the first day. Then went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides , overall it was just alright. The whole movie doesn’t really relate back to the previous ones. 3 stars maybe?

second ear pierce.

Sunday, finally winter with the sun rose up and woke me up around 10 then mum brought the family off to Northcote get our brunch. Then off to Wairau to get Mr.Alphard a clean look with the sunshine. :) Used about 6 dollars for that day surface and from that I’m all wet by Carmen she spread all the soap on me instead of the car. OH WELL! We are genius anyway. Then got home round 3, off to cricket park and had a run with Fluffy and met Selina and Kirby. :) they both played for like 2 to 3 hours and I got home around 5; had bread as dinner. :( around 9, sis and others came back then off to watch X-Men: First Class. To be honest, I think it is way better than what I watched before and it’s better than pirates4. :x *inmyopinion*

Monday, May 30, 2011

i'm done.

dear assignments and test:

please be nice to me. i know i didn't actually do my very best but please i need you anyhow.



the truth is:
i'm done the shits you given me for the last few months. let me be clear, i fell for you and i admit there is a moment that i really thought both of us will be together yet now i know what to do is good for myself. i tried my best to ignore, to stand still, to not shed a tear and not to think a thing about you. I know this would take a long time but it is better just to stay here wishing time will change everything. I've figured them out.
thank you for giving me those moments. ohh, i'm glad that i saw "uoyssimi".

Sunday, May 29, 2011

i tried to ignore.


having cartoon bed sheet doesn't mean childish. it helps to refresh your mind with the life you live in. it can't always be tough somehow having heaps of Spongebob sleep with you every night is a kind of happiness. :)

do what you promised.


Bought a new bracelet but it doesn’t look the same like what I had last time. My favorite bracelet is being stolen by somebody. Oh well, I’m not sure how is it doing now but I just miss it so much and I hardly hear things about it anymore. :( hoping someone did what he has promised. Maybe it does look simple and it doesn’t cost a lot like how some branded bracelet does but... (nvm) Anyway, I skipped work today went to karaoke and I spent more than 50 bucks which mean I had used up all the salary of two weeks’ hard work. OPPSY, I needa work more hard nao on. :X assignments are getting due, test next week, homework sheets due wed, birthdays coming up, prom night and internals. What am I suppose to do when I don’t even have enough time to move on with. Wish the time will just stop someday before these days are all due. D; *tears*

Saturday, May 28, 2011

perhaps, it worth.

Throughout this week I gained:- money, experience, STRESS, lack of sleep, understanding and bruises over my leg.

After two weeks’ hard work I finally got them and I’m glad. :)


I have no idea where I get them from but it worth after all.

same routine.


It’s been more than a week that I actually blog about the current life. My current life is now in a routine which can say it’s not a bad bad thing every single day. Sleep, school, eat, work then school works. This life is just tiring, somehow it keeps me from over thinking of things that I should not have thought of. Three days till winter and I’m keen for it because of holiday yet that’s like 7 weeks to go BUT long weekend is coming up just for student who study in RangitotoCollege next week. :) wish there’s no work, assignments and internal coming up after. :x other than holiday, somehow I like winter because I get to wear hoodies. It helps to cover fats and some shits on my body. OH WELL! I’m so fat that I feel like cutting every fats in my body out. D; and I’m getting fatter these days. Although, there are stress but I just cant stop eating. :( So for me, winter encourage people into a hibernate situation. The moment that you just want to sleep without waking up just to chase after time that is slipping away every single seconds. I never have a chance to sleep more than 7 hours per day, this is just exhausted.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Vita Dolce: hole.

A blog post that I actually feel almost the same.

Vita Dolce: hole.: "Why is it that we only realise how much things mean to us when they're gone? Is it because we take it for granted that they're always just g..."

Sunday, May 15, 2011

People need our help.

Hello world! :)

This post is not about personal life or even random stuff but it’s about the world we live in. This year World Vision is asking people to help raise money in the 40 Hour Famine to feel thousands of hungry children and families around the world. Thanks heaps if you’re reading this post! :)

Although we are living in the same world but there are almost a billion people in the world are hungry. This year, 40hr famine has a specific focus on East Tumor, one of New Zealand’s closest neighbours in the Asia-Pacific region. Half of all young children over there are malnourished. One of these children is 7 year old Lily, a girl who dreaming of going to school.

Wish you guys could help me with my famine which is no food for 40 hours from the 27th to 29th of May 2011. Please sponsor me, by donating money thru online will help raises 30% more funds. People need our help so grab your credit card and donate some money to make a change to this world.

Your 40 bucks to this organization can help to buy seeds and help 10 children in East Timor to have food for a whole year.

Be wide! Instead of spending these 40 bucks on new clothes and new shoes monthly, you can just use them to help 10 children that are living in a same world as us. We can make a change; GO HARD OUT FOR THE HUNGRY!

Heal the world, click in *here* to make your donation.

life shouldn't be like this.

When the people around you are all getting into a relationship all you feel is just weird. Tash asked me a sensitive question the other and I told her the truth. That might be the very first thought that hidden in my mind for a long time and I just said it out without consider about the result. Nvm, things that are done cannot be undone.


Eason’s concert is coming. I told my sis that I couldn’t go because I have an internal right after the day yet now I’m still wondering should I go or not. It’s internal and another one is concert. :( I want both.

memang rindumu.

Was supposed to write a post about Friday the 13th yesterday but blogger was in maintenance so there’s no new post until today. Slept at 4 last night, I don’t know what I have done but all I can remember is I over thought with heaps of thing. Drank a lil bit last night, rice wine it tasted pretty good although the cover of the drink is kinda looks like milk before that I had milk tea from Vincent again. Anyway, woke up at 10 get myself prepared for school works until 12. People are awake then off to ‘yum cha’ at Birkenhead with Shally, Karen, Carmen, Will, Jackson and mum. Ate for like an hour then off to the mall to buy some stuff to the new shop.

Yea, we bought a takeaway shop which sell thai and malay food in Howick (SO DAMN FAR) to try to get some income and also a PR for mum. Oh well, around 3 got back home and prepare to work. The first day of 4 hours work for me. It was nothing at first but after standing in the shop for more than 2 hours, my legs just sore and it actually was going to cramp. As you know that I never work as a worker that need to stand for 4 hours straight before and this is my first time. It’s not that bad overall just kinda boring when you are sitting there waiting the customer to order their food. I was so happy that I was done with my first order which is success with a Laksa Seafood(Satisfied for today). Got back home around 10 and here I am, craving for sleep but there are heaps of works that are undone. I have done one essay and another one to go about an overview. I’m so tired! :(


In a sudden, I miss her so much. :’(

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Bought the 3D spec which is compulsory these days 'cause I watched Thor in 3D the other day. The movie was just fine i suppose, the storyline was kinda like typical God's story but i missed the most important part which showed after the credits. Until now I still dont know what did it show. :X

So maybe it's time to focus on study. second week of term 2, I'm working so hard on the assignments and perhaps a break without work due will be alright for me. So Saturday, I walked out of the house in the middle of the night around 1 without telling my mum yet i get scolded my sis instead of my mum. oh well, getting used to it anyway. was suppose to chill with a friend but too bad, nothing happened overall just got a drink from him. pretty sure there will be another time to chill. Been struggling with few things these days: study, ball and something shouldn't be tell. It's so frustrating to leave them behind without thinking them.

Anyway, had a normal mothers' day with mummy the other day. Out to get flowers with bro, dinner and gift to her. that's all. As people grow older, they don't even bother to get something special for mum. For my mum, she got herself a new purse just because it's mothers' day. oh well. such a big spender.

gonna stop here. assignments a head. :(

Sunday, May 8, 2011

in the middle of the night.


what else you can do when you're the only one who awake in the middle of the night rushing up all the assignments that are going to due real soon. :x look at the sleepy look i have in my face. Assignments are tiring. omfg. 800 words essay imma finish you tonight, let the battle begin you biatch!

omg, i needa wake up in the morning and walk to the flower shop and get some flowers for my dearest mum. someone please wake me up at 8 before is too late. :x

later, blog walkers! :)

Saturday, May 7, 2011


Anton, the man.
a random photo anyway.

i feel like you are not deserving me.
never mind, just tell me when you need me.
so tired of those wonders and thoughts that cross into my mind every night.
i dont know am i bothering you or even annoying you.
something need to be confessed after awhile.

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