James' earlier birthday celebration .

Past few days were crap ! I had Account test which mean I gonna get a NA for it but I got someone to teach me just to thanks my sis , James and the guy who sits beside me during account class ! I think he called Jack if I'm not wrong . He's from China he the first who talks with me in account class he's nice ! =D So about the test I think I at least can get an A ' achieve ' for it .

Let's talk about today ! The title say out what I wanted to talk about it's a earlier celebration for James' birthday .

Let's see what happen after school and what we have prepare for him .

the sweet chocolate cake for the only Fatty !

Birthday Boy !

Happy 15th Birthday !

I love this so much !

I did use my Polaroid this time !

second one .

It suppose to be a surprise party but it ended up like a normal celebration ! However , at the end of it we watch something which really memory was the old video when I was 2 years old in NZ and some James' videos we were so cute last time !

We laugh so loud just for the video !!!

One week result of mine .

Art of my life .

As you can see the pictures I used up 1 week to ton and draw it with only pencil !

I just love it and it's really draw by me !

More artwork coming to me in school .

Life's just difficult and random .

Sze , I miss you suddenly !

Jing , you really get mature a bit only !

Xuan , I think of you when I was in school with some 38 people .

Grace , I saw someone really looks like you in school !

Artwork and Geography are killing me !!!!

I just love shopping !

Woke up in the morning around 0930 . The day was bright and woke up from some basketball sounds which always wake me up with ! Then have my break-first , mum wasn't at home 'cause she went to aunty May's house and we got aunty Chirstina's called to call us to have lunch at Sri Makota . It really sounds like a M'sia place but who knows it's a restaurant's name it sells M'sian food and it taste not that bad as I though I drank teh tarik and finally ! I miss the taste of it !

After lunch went to dressmart and shopping . 'cause it's NZ's day there are some sales and what we bought it's just something like ...

Let me type out what ' we ' have got !

Carmen ; two shorts from 'Just Jeans' , one pair of Puma and a sweater from Lacoste .

Mum ; a sweater from Lacoste and a bag from Raulph Lauren .

Even dad's not here my mum helps him to bought two clothes from ... ' I forgot the name '.

Bro ; nothing ! hahaha

also not to forget me ; two shorts and one pair of Puma !

these are mine .

It's me now and it costs only 50bucks .

This is my sis ones also the same price !

50 bucks .

you'll love this when you see the true colour .

After the shopping back to home and it's the time to face tomorrow !

weekdays .

I hate it so badly ...

I just hate school .

About yesterday's ;

Woke up and went to ware house stationary . Bought some stationary and yet my sis thought of buying rubber bands for reminds us for childhood ! You won't forget the old time we played that little long thing .

spot the thing we used to play like :

'' in , out , step by step , out , in , STEP ! "

that's what I used to play in Jalan Davidson went I was small and

I miss the memories .

and did you spot the 6 balls ?

It's a rubber balls made by me and Carmen .

'cause there are too many rubber bands so we make it like this .

random made from my bro !

orh the dog is free from tissue papers !

XD

I love Phang Saik Hoe forever .

I'm in love with him now .

♥

The endless road of mine .

Tuesday ;

The second day of school same thing goes on . BORED ! I do my art class thing alone and the same old thing alone ... It's super bored !

Wednesday ;

New account teacher as I know i'm also a new student and I dont now any account things at all ! So boring !!! and Tomorrow we're going to have test ! I hate school I want go back to M'sia to have fun like what other do , did and done !

Thursday ;

Have Maths workbook and it's kinda complicated ! What's the probability of tree diagram ? O.O I hate to do things I dont know and ask ...

Friday ;

School as usual I walked home these few days is kinda boring again ! I know I keep mention my life it's bored ! Sorry but it really is ! Science class ; we're having chemistry thing and it's hard for me about those atom thing . HARD !!!! Back new house and help up something . =D

life's hard here with the different language .

SM here , please .

School sucks .

What I though never seem to be work .

So BORED ! The school are alright just the style they teach are so weird !

Geog ; call us to make sentences .

Math ; not even teach number but let us talk !

Eng ; all ' guai lou ' , so scary !

Science ; the most normal one but I'm so tired about words turning out and in inside my head !

Acc ; So bored not even a teacher was there .

Art ; Normal too but now I know my drawing isn't really good !

6 subjects and I decided to change subject from Accounts to Graphics ...

sorry Sze , I already feel like giving up . =(

wish me luck , please .

I need luck , dude .

I need to be friendly , babe .

I need someone else to cheer me up , baby .

Tomorrow is the first day for me to go to a brand new school . New school , new environment , new teachers , new students and also new friends that I gonna meet . I'm so worry about tomorrow , I'm so scare about the new environment that I gonna meet .

Wish me luck for tomorrow !

Wish me all the best of the new school I gonna go .

Old street of mine .

As the previous post say I will go city today and yet I did . Woke up and prepare go to fetch aunty May and Natalie . We parked our car in the Casino of Sky City and walk to Mid city for Natalie's stuff . After shopping at there we went to a shopping mall I dont know what it calls but I saw these !!!

Cookies Monster ; Elmo .

Elmo .

Dont think this is a cheap stuff it cost NZD49.95 !

Went to half lunch before that we went to a Japanese shop Carmen bough lots of things . After that walk through Queen Street then I saw this .

Art of love .

Art of Street .

Strangers on the only street .

Carmen bought me this is so cute !

If anyone wants any Spongebob's properties tell me .

There are a lot here . =D

Carmen bough this for herself ;

Jusst to send back M'sia for someone Birthday card . SUPER BIG !

The messages you sent .

text message of mine from them .

As you guys know that my X6 break down and I use back my old phone ... I was text - ing with my friends and I checked back the old text messages and I saw two message which suit me ... I was sitting at the corner clicking my phone and refreshing the old text messanges of mine I saw the text which sent by TCW , I dont know you remember this a not but it says ;

' 以后你在那边的日子会不会很闷？当你在那边就不会有人跟你谈天了。。也不会有人问候你了。'

Now here I am and I feel the same way as he sent me this message at the time he sent me I felt nothing but now I know what he mean as ... I scream so hard ! In the old times there's always someone who can chat with you or even ask you ' How're you , babe ? Are you okay ? ' until today I can see there's nothing like that maybe is just two months a short time for me to get use to it .. Other than that I saw another message by WJF , He sent ...

' I scare after you go NZ , you won't miss me anymore . '

I remembered the time i replied ' I won't i will always miss you and others just like how you miss me . ' Apparently , the feeling I'm having now is that I'm not the one who don't miss you or them is you're the one who don't miss me . I really miss them but I just don't have the time to meet them up . Every time I on FB I wish there's a notification about you guys but what I have from you guys are NOTHING . I though I would be remember who knows the answer will be like that way ... already two months and now I feel like I'm a shame of myself . How would I be when I'm back to Malaysia . Yes , I admit when I'm in M'sia I wish to come here to enjoy what we call as ' NEW LIFE ' ... Honestly , I'm jealous about my sis that she has got so many friends who still care about her and the way they communicate . I'm so worry the days which is coming to me , I'm so scare about myself and the important thing is

I'M WORRY , I MISS TOO THEM .

I really miss them but I just dont know what to start with the words . I always hope that you will call me right now or even leave a sentence with a word even one word I will be happy . I was looking at the same message this few days and I though of the old memories of us but now I think he , she and them have forgot about what I call as ' MEMORIES ' . I'm still waiting the day to come and I knew the communication of us are getting further and further from a paragraph to 1 sentence with 3 words .

Don't treat me as a human who has got a protection ;

When you got dare I would dare you to love me as what you used to be .

About today ...

Went to Takapuna to have lunch in the morning went to buy stuff for new house . Then went to fetch Lisa back to new house and clean some stuff ... After lunch went to play badminton with James and Vanessa . I admit my play was suck but I think i got improve at the back . Sorry to the one who's teamed with me . After playing back to home , bath and also dinner . Around 8 went to Westfield to ask May to help me with the school pants and I bough a tights . Bro bought a boxer ! Sis and mum bought black stocking ... orh , sis bought stocking with red and black is cool !

Might be going city tomorrow ...

I want RL polo tee , Lacoste shoe !

I want to go Dressmart !!!!

Wrote two notes in FB take a look if you're interested .

Time to introduce ...

Woke up in the morning and went to fetch aunty may with aunty Chris . Time to get ready to go city ... Went city for a hair cut and is okay for me but after some people's opinion i was like maybe .... UGLY ! == After that went to new house then back to people's house to have dinner !

House in progress .

Glad to say I love my house .

Let me introduce it ...

the spa pool that has been taken .

Garden is still the same the only thing is all the trees are botak . =D

Little bitch in my room !

That's my feature wall and is in that colour .

light of my room !

corner shot .

another corner shot of my room .

zoom in to my garden .

poor pool turned into dust !

our future study and game room !

bathroom is not in bathtub .

front view but still have paint yet ..

kitchen is nearly done .

shot of the stove .

our refrigerator is super cool !

Is me with my sexy ass ! =D

I can't show my face 'cause of my hair !!!

William's room .

another shot .

bloody fake shit !

bold the words and you know how I feel .

I go home , shouting out loud and saying ' my life sucks !!! ' , remembering all the bad things in one day , how many horrible feelings I had in one day and wondered how it was possible , in one day . I was looking everyone around me , knowing everyone despises me , hate me talks about me . I try to be confident , I try to ignore the freaking annoying things , but in the end I know I cant .

These people tear me apart , not knowing myself have any feelings , they ignore me ruin my life , and they dont even know it . I did try every hard to ignore it but in the end I know I cant because these people tear me apart and dont even care !

Today I saw there alone listening to the songs which plays in my Ipod , trying to believe the words everyone says . ' @#$%^&* ' ' @#$%^&* ' are phrases I often hear , but who really means it ? and who is sincere ?

I doubt you would even tell me the truth , so you'll tell me what will make me feel better , but is it isn't the truth , then why should I care ? Eventually in the end , I 'll probably get hurt, that always seems to happen , I get treated like dirt . So next time you want to tell me you care , make sure you mean it and that it's sincere .

I wish what I dream wont be the true ;

I hope what I wish will be true .

hours of mine in lifetime .

i remember: when my clothes fell to your bedroom floor i felt alive. i felt complete. i felt the warmth of your arms around me, the taste of your lips embraced with mine; mouth meets neck, hipbone meets hipbone. i remember: retracing your curves as you squeezed my lower libido. your tongue's texture: new. exciting. slippery. the structure of our anatomical collision: fast-paced. i remember: how your dirty mattress became my new sanctuary. my fulfilment. my release. my safety escape. or how your curtains became my protection from reality. is this even real? a lucid dream, perchance? impatient exchange. or imperfect romance? a casual relief. fornication's dance? am i in the wrong? am i in your heart? am i in love? lust? or below the belt? am i beneath the sheets you use with every other guest? am i another fetish simply shoved amongst the rest? an unreturnable gift, an irreplacable wish. a sticky situation of: sweat, years, 'trust' (over-expectations) i think you should know the scent of your cherry body wash, the one we said looked like blood, it still lingers on my hands. i think you should know that lather rinse repeat only matters to me if i'm in your shower. in your house. in your pants. i think you should know i remember every detail. i think you should know i don't regret one thing.

I always hope you guys are here for me to listen what's in my heart and mind .

I always hope you're here to love me like what others do .

depressed .

Sometimes I'm proud to say

I got you .

the sweetness of love shape .

Yesterday's

I clicked into my nuffnang profile and what I saw was my visitors of my blog are getting less and less from 300 + a week to 200 + a week until this week is 154 visitors a week . I was like wtf ? I wonder is it my blog no update or my blog is getting boring or whatever ? I always ask myself is it my wrong to think of negative things or I should think another way of mine ?

tell me you love losing innocence to strangers .

shout fuck you to me !

The style of mine would be change .

The day of mine are as usual but today there are something special and I never expect about is we cleaned up our new house . Sounds weird when I type that but I did something special and is unusual as last few days was just cleaning up the house not gardening . You guys remember there is a spa pool at my house ? Today an old man came to take it 'cause we're not going to have a spa pool at home . Photos will be up I think if my camera work on tomorrow . Other than that I cooked one dishes today that would be cucumber salad ! I cut it into pieces and get them mixes well with 1 sauce ! It's so easy ! (I know is suck) After that I played basketball by myself and this time is 10 minutes 10 chop ! I'm so proud of myself although no one sees it but still I miss the basketball ... I heard today was the competition of SM but I'm not that sure with the details but wish you guys good luck in it !

Besides that , today's post is by Carmen Pang is she called me to update if not I'm not going to update like as usual but seriously , I miss her not that much as she expect , so sorry babe ! Maybe is the time we spent wasn't that long enough or maybe is my problem . I dont know why , why I'm not missing the girls but the boys ? I was like WTF everyday .

My uniform is on FB ! WTF ? thanks to CarmenTan you guys cant see clearly so when I got mood I will do some cam whore when I got that mood by myself ! =X However , 7 days to go in to a new school I'm so scare of new environment , new teachers , new friends , new studies , new exam , new subjects and also new uniform ! Everything is new to me , worries .

Skype - d with

hoe , bryan , kelvin , lit han and also tongue tongue babe ! I love them . =D

leave me your worries .

Can I leave some worries here ?

I wish there are someone there for me to share with ...

Every time I want someone there or here to share with .

I'm so worry about the next moment , next week , next hour , next minutes ...

Worrying over simply things like the new school which I gonna go next week and

I'm so worry about those subjects i gonna get can I catch up or whatever ,

Things like new house the school uniform and also the people I gonna meet .

Is quite horrid ,

pushing worries into my soul ,

What's wrong with me ?

How I wish not to worry ?

How I wish not to assume ?

you got me with a secret heart .

It's too late for me to give my love to you .

the love you left

maybe is too late for me to get it .

upper part of today's .

Sitting down infront of the computer and typing the memories of mine and you in my private file and listening to some songs which is slow ... sis , mum and James went out left me , bro and vanessa at home . That's really boring and what i did was playing 2 hours basketball by myself and really to get in ... and what i though of were out last memories in school shouting out loud in school just like mad person .

the down part of today's .

They back and mum cook and mum , sis and I went out for dinner with Jessica and we met Joyce too . She gonna help me with my death phone and pass it back to my dad and she's a Hong Kong - ian . XD The day end with FB !

pass me the hug in your soul .

Can I have it , please .

I want Elmo

not Monster Cookies . =(

Yesterday ,

Went to bough things for new house like curtain and some decoration stuff . Got a called from the school they said me and William and go to the school on the second term equal to o the 19th . Then we went to Albany Mall to e-have lunch and buy stuff i bought a jeans and i love it !=D So as my sis she bought some clothes too .

Watched SAW currently and we've watched 1 to 4 and I gonna watch 5 later . =X

Today's love .

Woke up and go new house to do gardening can not count as gardening is picking up those branches . after that went to the school and trying to find the place where buy uniforms but it didn't open so went to the shop in the other place . Then went to Albany mall again for phone stuff and the laneline for home . Then bough school shoe and it look sucks ! wtf ? I gonna wear short skirt and legging and sandals and white polo tees . I hope everytime will be alright when the school start .

My hands and legs got hurt when doing the garden by the rose and the cooking time i burned my finger and is freaking hard to type now it means is time to stop now .

Leave some comment peeps I'm bored ! =(

Sorry doesn't mean everything .

The words for me is nothing .

hate it !

Spent the day in city today . Morning the sky looked sunny but when you walked out the door you can feel wind blowing your hair up and down , the trees dancing in front of your yard and flowers getting old and singing . Let's start with I wake up from bed and took bath and after meal in car going to city to meet my sis's friends Karen and Janet . we met each other in Mid City ' an asian mall ' . They walked and shop and what I do is window shopping after few hours went to had lunch then went to city walk through shops like Glasson , Cotton On , Zippy and etc . I didn't buy anything but cookies the best cookies in the world i think . =D bought 10 pieces and I ate 1 only 'cause i need to left some for brothers and sisters . After buying these and that went to shop shop and my sis bought something from Kikki'k ( as yng said is nice and is really nice the books there are freaking cool I gonna buy the camera kit . ) the things are freaking expensive man . I gonna save some money up and buy things from there 'cause is freaking cool . After that went to shop again after shop went to take bus and back to new house which near our new house mum fetched and go there tengok tengok back to aunty May's house to have dinner ! Before that my sis receieved a letter from her friend , Kien Hao . After meal chat and play cards the day we spent was just normal and kinda bored !

I want shopping badly ofcz dont forget to give me money about that !

I freaking jealous now a days for no reason . I can't nagging in the blog ! gosh I'm freaking annoying . I just feel like no point I'm jealous now 'cause I dont have the friends like her I dont have friends who put me inside their heart that's really suck ! IGNORE ME !!!

friends ?

Wish her had got a great birthday celebration with us .

6th of April for others are just a normal day

but for my mum in 1991 she gave birth for someone like her ...

Her ?

Yesh , you're right is my sis !

Carmen's big day and it also means ....

I love this picture so damn much so I decided to put this as your wish post !

The years we spent last few years weren't that good so as this year of 'cause I own you thousand of presents i knew it but I will give you when i think of what I gonna get you .

Is the time to let the photos do the talking . =D

we celebrated her birthday in aunty May's house and steamboat .

After our meal we felt full and we walked a round for cam whoring ! =X

more in FB .

back to house and you can see is ...

Raulph Lauren VS Burberry .

our loves .

then is the time for dessert time !

before we continue there's a joke when we went to get the cake we ordered the cake like you should write ' Happy 19th Birthday ' but they wrote ' Happy 90th Birthday ' .

when we got it we were like WTH ?

However , it's really a joke for Carmen .

cakeeee . =D

loves .

The ' gang ' we had in NZ .

They're more but they weren't there .

=X

the day end with loves .

Hope Carmen enjoy it .