up in the air.

The last day of January of twenty eleven. I had memories within this month and I started to miss it already. Leaving real soon. I’m terrify for going back facing the books, school, people everyday. I’m regret with what I’ve chosen for the courses that I am taking but it’s too late to change it. There’s only two compulsory subjects that stay the same 4 others have changed. Thought of taking accounting back and geog back but too late. I chose eco which I never studied before a brand new subject. Art History, saying easy but it needs to be catch up. Human never get what they always wanted just never. School, this is a huge school which would be easy to meet new people but to be honest. To meet the people that you really wanna be close with it’s hard. I met people but never get close with people. I admit that, am not sociable enough to meet these people and asking them and telling them jokes like how my sis did last time. Saying hi and bye it’s just …

Just speechless with it, about people in school just no word to describe. So the coming Saturday, I will be going back and meeting this place and saying hi and bye all the time. Being alone at home, trying to work hard with my NCEA level 2 this year. Try to score more credits for the coming year and try to get into the uni I want, the subjects I want and meeting the people I want. This is just hard. I hate how my family asking me ‘don’t you want friends?’. After this question I will just fake a smile and saying I have but just not too close to chat. I answered the same thing every single time. I have no more answer for this question. Not anymore.

Having the time with the love ones on twitter. Saying goodbye, and it makes me feel like am not gonna be back anymore. Oh girls, I miss you guys. L I wish there’s no such word as distance. I will just go through all this pain and make my day like it’s a brand new day. No more going back to the memories and trying to get it back. :X

Why does everything have to be so complicated?

Dream big and high. There’s no such word as limit in my dictionary. I am now trying to cut of disappointment in the dictionary now like if I could. :)

ffked the hangout. :(

The hangout.

30rd of January, I received an invitation by the boss the day before. I was so excited that, this could be the last hang out and it’s a hangout that I ever wanted to go yet I ffk-ed. I wasn’t being happy like what I actually wanted to happy. ‘cause this hangout would actually be the last hangout that I gonna have with them. Pei, wei, kh, cw, david and some boys. Oh well, too bad I just ffk straight after. I was suppose to get out of the house at 1 but dad came back late and pick us up at 3 and off to ampang to send something then off to kepong again. First, I was saying I must go to the hangout to myself but things changed at the last minute. Dad brought the whole family out and for no way that am gonna say that I wanna join the buddies. That’s just so wtf. Somehow, I ditched them when my dad is also heading to pv at the same time.

Like seriously, this is the hangout that I ever wanted but I just ditched them. Not depress but just cant get over myself with these matters. anyway, I met a lot of people in Pavilion. First, the AWESOME retarded son, How J-Sern. I didn’t know I have a time to meet him one day like wtf. Then, we met YeeCher, aunty Sharon and a singer(dontknowwhat’sthename). Bought nothing but had the RM600 dinner at Kampachi. Was super full until the dessert it’s not into my stomach. ;( Off back home around 10. Rush to watch OneMillionStar. At least, we didn’t miss the time that JessLeeJiaWei sings. She was just AWESOME, the Malaysian that make me feel so proud. J

The second part of the contest.

Carmen was saying if she didn’t win this competition she will just throw shit in Taiwan.

Luckily she won. J

27th of Jan w/ the couple Hui(S).

The day starts with a rain.

Woke up in the morning, kept yawning for no reason. I was suppose to go to hospital today but too bad we missed the appointment time. It was at 1145 and we thought it’s at 1445. So we booked tomorrow for check up. Somehow, we went out for breakfast and it rained. Thought today would be lil bit windy and not so sunny but it just rained.

Then back home and drop grandma home. O well, after daddy telling me that they are so many people dying outside and I got an infection from ‘GreatDay’. I wish my grandparent are healthy and being happy all the time. No doubt, although they are kinda annoy sometimes yet I miss them like how I miss the others. ;(

Anyway, then off to aunty debby’s shop and waste sometime when it’s only one around that time. I wrote a letter for her like seriously I haven’t been writing letters for like more than a year. I miss having homeworks from SM. Those were memories. Around 3 off to Quan’s palce, saw HngHng and Joe also ah yi. We played Joe’s iPhone for half an hour then the princess just go to bath. I almost forgot how long that princess would take for a bath but it’s too late. We wait her until 5 then off to MidValley. As all Malaysians know that time it’s the jam time so we slept and left the boss drive with Khalil Fong’s songs playing on and on. ;) We arrive there about half an hour. (I can actually get home by now and then) So we parked in TheGarden, then Quan and I left the Mr.Joe alone. We were being too mean to him but you will never feel better when there is a guy following you on a ‘date’. ;X So we both went to MV, first thing to do FOOD which is SUSHI. We are sushi lovers so off to SushiZen, a place where I celebrated birthday two years ago. Well, this place remind me of the cupcakes.

“QUAN! You look so think in my eyes. ;)”

IKURA, it’s a MUST from sushi menu.

The adorable one. ;)

After dinner, we did what other girls will do which is SHOPPING but I got nothing for the day. Since, there’s nothing like what I was looking for I just help the love to get a necklace from Diva. Then help William to get his PS3 game, KillZone2. Then walk up and down, we saw an advertisement which wrote about YOGURT ICECREAM which it’s the princess love so we were trying to find it for like about an hour. Then finally found it from the information center. SPOON. This place it’s just beside Delicious like omfg, we been looking for it like an hour. Somehow, we tried how good was it. I ordered GreenTea with tiramisu and topping with jelly beans. Besides, quan ordered Original topping with GummyBears. It was just awesome. That was the time we chilled and the time the couple STALKED.

THEY WERE STALKING!

The best driver ever, <3

I suppose, they worried too much about me for being that curious on the boy. Somehow, am just glad that they cared. At least. ;) then about 9 off to TheGarden and get Heidi’s present from Quan. After that, it’s time to get back since my mum it’s waiting for me outside her place.

On the way to the basement, we love taking photos. ;)

The boss, driver and lover of hers. ;)

I HAD AN AWESOME DAY w/ PhangHuiQuan and HuiJoeYang.

Appreciate for the drive and opinions. ;)

memories of mine in this place.

This will be a wordy post without any photos but description of the mood I had in SM today.;)

I went back to this place today. There’s not much different about StellaMaris just the paint and new juniors. Well, I went there around ten past three. First thing I saw was minicourt. I miss that place where the girls’ basketball team were held in with the sunny bright sun. Looking the juniors playing without pjk shirts on. Those were memories, anyhow I went through the office and the first teacher I saw. Mrs.Param , the best mathematic teacher. she stays the same but the first thing she call me was CARMEN. My reaction was wtf but this can be excused since she’s old and she doesn’t really like me for joining the boys in form 3M. oh well, that year was awesome but things also happened in that year. Anyhow, the first mate I saw was JernJeit. Yes, that chubby guy that talk craps. He was in a rush so we just hugged and saying hi&bye. ;) So I off to auditorium with my piggy leg from the back doors. Saw the guys having training. First to talk with KiatGee. He stays the same. Fair, talk, talk craps and eat. Then the coach came, I joined the girls. Yeap, PeiYi, XueSze and also Brenda. It’s been a month that I actually see Pei and Sze like seriously I miss them. Looking at them let me think of the time I stayed back in SM’s canteen and waiting for mum to pick me up. Brenda, the hun who used to stay back just for her boy,HanXian.

So we chatted and chilled for about 1 and half hour then Pei needs to get back home with her bro. Then it’s Sze’s turn. The hugs and photos weren’t enough for two years to keep. Oh well, they never like to take photos but at least one from each. Then walked down from audi to assembly hall to let them go off my eye sight. Walked slowly to audi again, I met Mr.Liew. The so called science teacher for the form 1s and 2s. We talked, he is getting older like seriously. Last time, he never talk so soft and never smile. Well, he talked about the gang that used to be together and how bad were we and how fun was the school with us and how troublesome were we. That were fun, that’s teenage life.

Got into audi, there were preparing to finish the training. Fortunately, some of them did talk to me or else I will be a freak at there. ;( Thanks to ChunWeng, KiatGee and HanXian. I met the skills of them and the players of SMSM. Just glad.

After that, off to mamak with HX,JY,KH and Brenda for about 20 minutes off to lrt station. They were in a rush only da and I took the same train and kh took the same way but different train. The other two off to ktm station. Today’s plan was all in rush but do appreciate that we say hi&bye also a smile from everyone of them. It’s been ages that I actually see them face to face with a smile. Hope I could have the same feeling again meeting them perhaps two more years? Just hope.

Oh, on the way to mamak I got questions from them about the same guy. That moment was funny.

-Whereyourbfcomefrom? -Howyoumeetyourbf?

-Whyyoulikehim? -It’salongdistancerelationship.

Thought of telling them the truth but no. Just let it be will be better. J

establish harmony and balance in your life.

I’ve got two cases here.

His love problem and also her friendship’s problem.

A life couldn’t be complete if there aren’t any problems exist. This is just life, this is the challenge that you should be facing. Friends, love and family. For asian countries, family is not a problem at all but friend is ,so do love.

Friends, being left out by others or being blame by others or even being hate by others. Asian cant actually get into western country normally , there are always some racist people around. That’s how we live, having competition and also being strong at sometime. Even the friend you used to be close will never be there for you forever. They changed so do you, people have different opinion on their friends. Perhaps for me I think she changed to worse and maybe for her I changed to worst. That’s the point of all. You never know how a person feels until you ask and he/she tells.

Besides, love is also a problem in our life. We felt in love, but you never know would he/she left you or even he/she gets annoy about it. He/she could actually feels nothing with you and just trying to have some fun with others instead of you or even the ex. You never know how they think , you cant read their mind. All you can do it’s wait, try not to think much and also stalk. Other than that, if you ask in your mind will be wonders and some negative stuff so all you can do it’s wait for him/her to be the one who started the topic.

A point to male readers, females wouldn’t want to be the one who starts a topic without the relationship. All females do is wait and wait and wait for the guy to be the one first. That’s all.

Pistanthrophobia

-the fear of trusting.

extra post.

Tomorrow’s plan, paintball with the company if I can run. Or else, movie with sis and being a lifeless person. Eight hundred and one post, should be sad but just sad things came into my mind. Oh well, I heard a true fact from my bro.

“You don’t need to stalk your lover, it will only let you miss him/her more and making yourself hurt if you saw something bad. Being couples should trust each others not stalking their profile and guess.”

Now I just realize, my brother who’s only 14 years old so fcking mature on these things. Some how, this is just so true. People change, some act they are young and some act they are mature and some just think different form others. Well, everyone has their own mind to think. Just like having different taste on a bag. This is life for everyone. Being left one it’s not a problem, find the solution or else get a person who’s in the same situation.

Although I Need You

This girl it’s just awesome. If I’m not mistaken she’s only 19. Like wth, how could a girl sings so well. With those voices. Oh well, not to say more click into this video and you know what I mean by “voices”.

鄧紫棋 – A.I.N.Y

分開以後每個夜晚　格外的寂靜

滴答滴答　剩大鐘在陪著我回憶

電話裡頭曾經是你最溫柔的聲音

現在只有空氣　冷寞地回應

OH　給你我的心　能否請你別遺棄

一句愛你愛你愛你愛你　能否再也不分離

OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂

就算愛你愛你愛你愛你　可能你也不想聽

你的擁抱曾經是　最溫暖最熟悉

現在換了誰安睡在你胸口的位置

你的承諾曾是一種不自覺的甜蜜

現在一劃一筆　刺在我心裡

OH　給你我的心　能否請你別遺棄

(I gave you everything, Never Asked for anything)

一句愛你愛你愛你愛你　能否再也不分離

(I wish that you could stay, Ha! It's just my wishful thinking)

OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂

(I gave you everything, But all I got is pain)

就算愛你愛你愛你愛你　可能你也不想聽　你不想聽

(Although my heart is bleeding, You still don't feel a thing)

回憶　對你最後的回憶

(回憶 最後的回憶)

是你　慢慢走遠的身影

(是你 走遠的身影)

然後你　離開了沒有痕跡

(然後你　離開)

然後我　崩潰了放縱哭泣

(然後我　哭泣)

恨你恨你　每當我想起曾經

(恨你　每當我想你　每當我想起曾經)

曾經曾經曾經曾經......

還是愛你愛你愛你愛你

難道還不能清醒

OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂

(I gave you everything, Never Asked for anything)

一句愛你愛你愛你愛你　難道你也不想聽

(I wish that you could stay, Ha! It's just my wishful thinking)

OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂

(I gave you everything, But all I got is pain)

就算愛你愛你愛你愛你　不值得為你傷心　傷心

(Although my heart is bleeding, You still don't feel a thing)

Your confession remains to be my final pleading,

but the only thing that's here with me is tic tac tic tac tic tac tic tac......

作曲 Music by G.E.M. , Lupo Groinig

作詞 Lyrics by G.E.M.

編曲/監製 Arranged & Produced by Lupo Groinig

________________________________________________________________________________________

Awesome aye? Besides , she sings LIVE is even better. The first song I got inspired by her, was ‘Where Did You Go?’. This song is still in my playlist like keep repeating non- stop. She is just awesome, people!

we just broke up.

It’s Thurs, public holiday for M’sia. Suppose to go out today due to some personal problem am not but at night. The buddies called to Carmen and hang out to have dinner. Somehow, I miss having a dinner and chat time with them. Had Korean food with quan was just FUNNY. Every time she asked for Korean food first thing to ask. Is the spoon in round shape and it’s the chopsticks they had are flat? Interesting aye, she needs to have feel to have Korean food as a meal. What an adorable one. After dinner head back to Klye’s house, for chill but it didn’t work out just some people sitting in front of the TV playing phones, iTouch and iPhones. Lol, this is teenage life for lifeless people like me. ;)

Back to the post title.

We just broke up.

Well, when I was small I dream to have these things happen. Yet I got it for a week and it just breaks away. I never had a dream come true, not even one. Having wishes on birthday, DOESN’T work. Wishing on 11:11, just the same. Nowadays, I wish almost the same wish and it doesn’t work. Perhaps, wishing too much that’s why I NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE. I saw something that I shouldn’t have click in and see. I have no idea why am I felling this but it just hurts. Not that much but it just hurts. It’s been ages that I actually had this feeling. It cannot be explain, it’s like taking something out of your brain and trying to delete it. Besides, having the feeling would actually make the tears workers work so hard for this time. I have no idea why but it just work for this time. I realized one thing, don’t be a stalker to certain things, never have the curiosity to things that might hurt you. Even in your mind that is a might but after you seeing something that doesn’t worth a tear just forget about it.

THE CURIOSITY & JEALOUSITY .

THEY KILL.

hope you'd.

I just hope we’ve got more time to appreciate all these things we’ve been through but it’s too late. Everything I get depressed you weren’t here besides I don’t know how you feel for these and that. Oh well, we’re just cant appreciate too much to each others. It might breaks, this is life no matter what. Friends break through walls. Family get you over and love just leave you a sweet memories behind these walls. Hope someday you will realize and you’d join us .

I’m totally fine. Just depressed.

Hun, online earlier so we could have more time to appreciate each others. ;X

the best late night in 2011.

The best Sunday I ever had in 2011. To say this is a good sign for having her around. Went to The Mines with a bitch who bluff me to go at 3 and she’s LATE (CarmenPang). Oh well, just trying to get used to it. Anyhow, I watched Paranormal Activity 2. It was awesome at the first but the ending just make us forget about what’s the movie about. Before watching the movie we had a sweet chat time at fruitland. A not so clean restaurant. After the movie we went to LakeSide if I’m not mistaken. Since my dearest Carmen wanted to shisha and omg, I accompanied her. I hated that so much but I’m allowing her to get it infront of me. Nvm, once a year will never die. ;) Had fun with it for like nearly 2 to 3 hours. It’s just making me wanna bath ‘cause it smells. Took over 100 photos I suppose? Just for this half day. We made promise for 2012. What a great friend I have to make this promise. Shisha. Omg, please no addiction.

This bitch is just awesome.

I love her.

Get your new sign.

As everyone out there were talking about the Zodiac Signs. Oh well, it’s true. The new astrological signs. Apparently it’s something to do with the earth’s rotation that was changed the way the planet is aligned to the stars. Whereas, the earth’s relationship to the stars are now different than when the first zodiac signs were created.

Omg, I was so glad that I’m a scorpio but now no more. D; I’m a Libra. Noooooo. ;/

To find your new star ?

Read these.

New Dates of 13 Signs

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16

Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11

Pisces: March 11- April 18

Aries: April 18- May 13

Taurus: May 13- June 21

Gemini: June 21- July 20

Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10

Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16

Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30

Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23

Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29

Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17

Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

What is your new sign? do comment.;)

I'm tired so let me be broken.

Have no idea what to feel right now.

All I can do is be me. Whoever that is.

Wish I was dare to post what I’ve actually written but no.

I took a step to be the first one today but all I got from you was nothing. Being sarcastic enough, I’m just so glad with what you’ve done. Our conversation is getting shorter and shorter, it gets faster than how I imagined. Well, I couldn’t wish this never happened before but please tell me how you actually feel. What do you want from me.For you and yes only you.

best hang out I ever had for this one time.

This is me and this is just what I love for.

That’s not a problem but love. I love how we used to be super close friend and now we’re like stranger. I hate how we used to be enemy and now we’re friends that can ask anything about. Oh well, I wasn’t suppose to walk out but then someone’s plan is on and it was a must so yea. I went to SM with Joe, Quan and Jing. Thanks to Joe, wasn’t that good to let Joe to be the driver but still thanks a lot , bro. <3>

Anyway, after got into SM called the boss and yes it’s been ages that I actually see her. EeWeiYen, Janice and also XinYiing. I wasn’t surprise but I was surprise that I see the guys that used to be in the same last with me two years ago. I just miss them so freakin’ much that I cant actually speak out a word. Then heading to TS , meet up CarmenPang that crazy ass. Off to OldTown trying to have a long chat time since she and yiing supposed to leave at 4 then the true time she left was 6. We are just so good in chatting about past and present. Besides, while we were chatting SzeYuin came and yes she sounds still the same as last time and omg she had a hair cut. People today were almost all are using iPhone and it makes the crazy ass wanna get an iPhone instead of a BB which mean she’s so gonna break her promise. ;(

Then off to Pv with the other threesome (Yen,Janice and Quan). Joe dropped us off and heading back home was sorry to make an awkward scene. Anyway, off to pv ofcz we did shopping and trying out clothes just had fun that we actually forget about the time. After shopping have our dessert at Snowflakes. This store is making M’sians insane, all of them .Then around 8, Yen’s dad called to rush home. Then the other two plus me off to Fahrenheit 88 to get dinner, saw Gi and Brenda. Was kinda angry that Brenda ditched us but nevermind she got her own choice. Already get used to it. Heading back to quan’s place and let the aunties to have some chit chat time while I called someone to wish him and discuss things with quan.

Well, today was awesome enough to be like everyday I wanted to. It wouldn’t be. So photos will be up but it takes tons of time to upload 5 photos ‘cause the size of it is just TOO BIG. ;X

As I get home, turned on the computer I started to miss him.

Yes, nearly everytime like omfg.

oh well.

I’d never be :

-good enough.

-skinny enough.

-pretty enough.

NEVER.

late post. ;X

This should be up last night. ;x

11^th January.

As last night I came back from the 7 days trip and today I thought I would stay at home and having some kinda of fun with my super ‘fast’ uploader for about 700 photos from the trip. Yet, called SaikHoe (itwasamissedcalled) and yes I miss him. Not to forget the love one, PhangHuiQuan. I called and kept asking where is she while she’s at car heading back home. Told her I would be there but actually I didn’t have any transport as mum gonna go facial and sis went out with her friends. So yea, SaikHoe returned the call it was short but saying that he will be at home and Carmen gonna find him soon. So she’s been forced to have 6 people in a not so big car. (KahYan’s) head to her house to get another car so two cars and go to Hoe’s place. Reach there around dinner time. Saw his family all together and yes I’m toally in love with him and his family!

Anyway, had dinner at their place. Mcd and PizzaHut. Then Kenji called for karaoke. The night was awesome overall one thing is karma. Due to a reason, I stopped Quan for joining us I fell down from a some kind of staircase. Karma aye. So now I had a pair of piggy legs, abnormal walk style and ugly leg. Omfg. I want it to be recover real soon. Friday’s outing and next week’s. darn darn darn.

Dad, please let me get out of the house so I wouldn’t get sick and my leg needs exercise. ;X

p/s: photos will be upload soon. ;X

sorry for the wordy blog post.

they thought.

They thought of random things but pretty true.

As the facebook relationship status changed, likes and dislikes were up. Also wonders, they wonder who is he and also is that true that we both are together. Oh well, let’s keep this little secret. I told somebody about the whole thing and yes I told her the feelings I used to have and the one I’m having now. That’s the secret . ask more dear.

;X

awesome trip in 7 seven days.

Back from Taiwan, Hong Kong and Macau. Overall the trip is just awesome but they are difference. I had food fun in Taiwan, bought two pairs of shoes a Vans and another like boyish boots. Then in HongKong, had fun meeting up people, shopping on the streets with the wind coming and also a tighty tide train I’ve ever taken before.The last destination Macau wasn’t so good as others. Went to St.Paul other than that only stay at hotel, The Venetian Hotel and shopping. Bought a baggy jeans from Pull & Bear. The shop at there is just awesome due to I have too many jeans I’m not allow to get another pair of it. Then back to Msia now staying at home waiting old photos to be uploaded. I miss everything on the trip, food, people and shopping malls. I regret that I didn’t get the red converse and get the cardigan also the lacoste polo. Just realize that I actually have too much RL polo. I haven’t get my new clothes for CNY tho. ;X

Hope to get an iPhone ‘cause of the casing, hope to get a BB torch ‘cause of the style, hope to get a BB bold 9780 ‘cause it looks more convenient. For sometimes, I just want everything that I can get. It’s easy to get a thing but it’s hard to maintain certain thing. This is life, maintain it or else it will easily get out of this world.

Photos will be uploaded tomorrow perhaps within this week. S’pore trip has been cancel so yea am free until the 5^th of Feb peeps. ;)

Perhaps, I felt for a guy.