peace in heart .

I thought what i knew .
you weren't .

you were not who I wanted .
you did not stay up late and talk to me and smile for me and need me .
you were not there , you were not sober , you were not real .
you did not give me butterflies everytime those damn eyes looked into mine .
only lust .
you were not what I expected .
you did not caress me or hold me or touch me or feel me .
you were not it , you were not him .
you did not make me crave all of who you were .
only what you did
you were not who I thought .
you were not enough , you were not mine , you were not allowed .
you did not take all of me .
only strip me of everything I was worth .

10 o'clcok i have dentist appointment .
since i promise her i will change my braces rubber to glow in dark and tomorrow i will do it !
=D
see whether she will realize ?
hmm ...
i'm tired but i cant fall asleep .
wth la .
maybe i was just drank too much tea and coffee today or maybe ....
' No way ! I wasn't in that situation .
arggg..
stop it ! '
feel like killing myself for that thing .
dumb dumb .
i should stop and try to get sleep .

CarmenTan gonna be back home soon .
I miss her !
Saturday night I'm coming !
=D