重伤

People feel and you can’t figure them out unless they allow you to feel them. People don’t read mind, they don’t know what go through your mind but they just always wish they could. So yea..

重伤-林凡

就让记忆回到那天的 那个梦

Jiu rang ji yi hui dao na tian de na ge meng

再活一遍 那段过去的 两分钟

Zai huo yi bian na duan guo qu de liang fen zhong

一个人低头 一个人祈求 太空洞

Yi ge ren di tou yi ge ren qi qiu tai kong dong

我还不相信 我不相信连 梦都是空

Wo hai bu xiang xin wo bu xiang xin lian meng dou shi kong

[Chorus]

爱那么伤 伤那么重

Ai na me shang shang na me zhong

我不想 我不懂

Wo bu xiang wo bu dong

天那么蓝心那么痛 我承受

Tian na me lan xin na me tong wo cheng shou

你那么走 走那么久

Ni na me zou zou na me jiu

走遍放纵 的自由

Zou bian fang zong de zi you

梦那么长 手那么空 谁在乎

Meng na me chang shou na me kong shui zai hu

你会不会放 下这负累自由飞

Ni hui bu hui fang xia zhe fu lei zi you fei

走了不 要追周围呼吸都不对 无所谓

Zou le bu yao zhui zhou wei hu xi dou bu dui wu suo wei

一个人低头 一个祈求 太沉重

Yi ge ren di tou yi ge qi qiu tai chen zhong

我还要答案 我还要习惯 好困难

Wo hai yao da an wo hai yao xi guan hao kun nan

Repeat Chorus

爱那么伤 那么久 我不懂

Ai na me shang na me jiu wo bu dong

心那么冷 那么痛 我承受

Xin na me leng na me tong wo cheng shou

Sorry, I don’t read mind. I don’t know when are you telling the truth or telling lies. I don’t know how you feel and I never know what you are trying to say. If you really want me tell me I don’t want to sit here and waiting like a fool trying to guess what’s in your mind. I’m tired of figuring you out and think everything will be alright after a period of time. And is obvious that you know it hurts and this is tiring. I hate myself for thinking so much and I have no idea how to tell you these. I hate this and I hate everything. I just fucked up my day as always.

Guess he doesn’t need me anymore.

The week.

Today seems to be like Friday to me. The day is just so long that I found out that I didn’t actually do many things. Oh well, let’s talk about the whole week.

Monday(210311)

Absent. Due to some medical problem the whole fucking day and it hurts so damn much. Nobody actually give a fuck on it. Rushed my English essay, 7 paragraphs that kinda mean for me. After writing it I just realize my English is getting worse these days. Fml.

Wednesday (230311)

I walked to McDonald with Julie after school ‘cause I was frustrating with something about somebody so yea. We shared things not that much as how we used to do but it was alright, I suppose. Walked back home around 5 and I’m totally exhausted overall. I rushed my economic works and another essay for English also sociology’s. OMFG, everyday doing the same thing I just feel like killing myself.

Friday(250311)

Rained for the whole freakin day and I walked home. It’s lucky that one of the new student willing to shared an umbrella with me to flag pole or else I will be like all wet. Saw Nicole and we both borrowed Elaine’s umbrella just to walk up to Windsor Park and I waited for her parent to pick her up yet I got a ride instead of walking home with the rainy weather without my sweater. Yeap, my sweater is not with me for the whole day and I was freezing in math class with the windows wide opened. Omfg. Anyway, got home and I found out there’s a missed call. Guess who? The love ones are here- Baby Quan and hoe. So I had dinner with the Birthday girl, Fiona. Some photos at the restaurant.

Then I picked two of them from city. Yes, I sat on the bus alone to city trying to be awake then picked them up and go back to Constellation Drive again. Anyway, I went to city with a flip flop while it was raining and with my *raincoat*. On the way back home, we chat, we camwhore, we laugh, we sing out loud. Yes, we did what we will do in Msia. That is just so a memorable memories. I miss both of them so much that I cant even say a word out of it. Carmen picked us up from the bus stop and went to fetch Anton. They were suppose to go clubbing but thanks to the weather it’s been canceled so they were all at my place trying to have fun with shots just like what we used to do. :)

umm. SENIOR

Junior?

the special shot made by Anton for the birthday girl.

I LOVE THIS. :)

Karen, Lisa, Jason, Anton, Fiona, Nicole, Lydia and Belinda were all there. Including me, quan and ron. Trying to enjoy those shots while we were playing ‘pyramid’. I actually love pyramid game and it actually helps you finish up the alcohol pretty quickly. I played for the 3^rd round which is the round when ron, me and quan were there. After that round, somebody ran off (Anton & Ron) they went to catch some rest and left us. Another round is on and the second last 3 shots was mine and I’m all like wtf but the last shots which is equal to two shots go to Jason! Then sis bought Fiona, Nicole, Lydia and Belinda home with Karen’s companied then we have a break where people went to get food! Yet, Quan went to get some pure Midori shot kinda harsh ay. I was like O.O and she was like this is nice weih! :)

After the meal, we rest on the couch in the living room and I remember what I did with Lisa and Anton. We sang so damn loud and video are up on facebook (privately) , there are three. One is Long Distance, second one is ‘I love you, You love me’ then the last one is ‘Bob Bob Baby’ all of them are with Anton. Lisa and I were in two of them. After that we rushed upstairs and trying to wake Ron up because he went to William’s room quietly trying to have a long nap ‘cause they are going to wake up at 5 on the next day when is like 12 when he’s trying to tuck himself in the bed.

So the whole night is just a mess, I cant actually remember what I did in William’s room but I remembered that I gossiped with Quan and sis was saying that we gonna walk to McD and chill for the whole night yet I slept in Carmen’s room while they were fetching Anton home. When they are back home, nobody is willing to go McD so we just decided to sleep at 2.

Alarm rang at 5 and it’s Saturday already. Woke quan up to get a shower so do Ron and I followed mum fetch them back to city and it’s been a long day. I got home at nearly 8 and I sleep again until 9 I’m half awake due to some problem and I have no idea what was it and I sleep again. Totally sober at 11 while Carmen and Lisa were awake and play with Fluffy. :) Then Carmen fetched Lisa to the bus stop and let her go to St.Luke ‘cause of her job. Left me, Karen and Carmen. Umm, did I mention Jason? So he went home in the morning and I have no idea what time was it. Anyway, then we went to BrownsBay to have our brunch at 1 after that we went to AlbanyMall. Just to have a walk and bought nothing but heard a lot of things.

TO BE CONTINUE.

this weekend aint that bad.

THIS POST IS SUPER LONG. :X

This weekend was pretty awesome.

Saturday, woke up and deal with my photography assignment for an hour. In a sudden, sis and mum were discussing going New Market to get something from Smith&Caughey so yea we went there around 1. Parking is always a problem in Auckland is so damn annoying to look for parking so we used about half an hour just to look for a car park. Anyway, then we three of us went to look for our ‘breakfast’ which is our brunch. Finding something else to eat while mum was the one saying she doesn’t want to eat ‘dim sum’ but at last when there’s an option between sushi and ‘dim sum’ she decided with ‘dim sum’ such a weirdo. So had our brunch in Pearl Garden Restaurant, it wasn’t that bad but the service suck ttm. Before brunch, Carmen got what she wants in Smith&Caughey and it’s just a cleansing solution.

So after the brunch, we went to shopping. Hell yes, I haven’t shopping for like more than 2 weeks that feeling suck a lot. Was planning to go Qubic and ask about the bow addidas original shoe but there are on renovation or something so I didn’t get to go there. SO DAMN SAD! Walked around the street and found nothing to buy but when we got into WestfiledMall. We saw CountryRoad on sales and mum bought a top at there besides I saw a purse which I wanted to have one for like so damn long. Yet mum still doesn’t allow me to get it then off into another shop. HELL YES! MARS is another option to be my new purse.

See see see! My new purse! I wasn’t getting this purse until I found out it’s kinda useless cause I never like to put my cash into the pocket in my purse so this is like throwing the change into it and *clip* is all in the purse. A girlish purse for me and I know it’s kinda weird to see me using a purse like this.

Other than that, bags are all on 30% sales. Fuck yes, I got this. Was suppose to get a black one but Carmen was saying im too young to get the black one cause is too mature and looks classy lil bit so change my mind to this. J pretty awesome for me. Two items less than 200NZ, peeps.

Then off to Dotti and I bought this. I’m loving this shirt more and more when I look at it.

Then sis went to ForeverNew and she got a skirt. Looking awesome with it and SALES are on these days. Omg, I feel like getting new sandals, sneakers and some new clothes. These are not enough. :X

Around 4 or 5, mum was nagging to go home ‘cause of her darling son at home. When we got home, we saw William’s friends like OMG. Include him is four of them facing the computer and the PS3 like seriously _|_

Then went to finish my photography assignment like finally. Task 1 is done and now task 2 is driving me crazy I have no idea what to take in black and white. 45 photos needa hand in before the term ends. Anyway after that Carmen and I went to help mum for dinner cause James and his family is here to have dinner together. Right after we finished our dinner Carmen came out with an idea of being survive when earthquake comes to attack Auckland. LIKE OMFG. Due to some problem I helped her to wash every bottle we have in the house and trying to pack the dry food.

Check these out.

trying to get as much water as we can. you can survive for at least seven days if you have water.

Some dry food but seriously don’t take Campbell soup as an option. :x

Seven bottles of water.

Beside food and water, prepare a jacket to get yourself warmth.

END FOR SATURDAY.

___________________________________________________

So while I was sleeping I got somebody’s call and it actually wakes me up. He was saying something and I cant actually listen what he was saying. All I answered was “oh” , “yea” and “okay” still he continue his talk and trying to say I will call you again later. I’m like all goods with it and I don’t know why. The second call woke me up too and the same reaction I have as the first called. I wasn’t being sarcastic but actually I cant listen to what he told me. Umm, kinda sorry about that tho. I have no idea did he realize that or not but I was half awake only. So sorry about that.

_______________________________________________________

SUNDAY.

Anyway, woke up at 9 and saw Whatsapp is with three reply like wtf ‘cause mum woke me up to accompany her to FreeMarket but I rejected her. It’s kinda bad to reject my mum. Somehow, I know my mum will always allow me to do so I suppose. So went back to sleep until 11 I was just TOTALLY awake. Thank god I caught enough sleep at last. So I spent the Sunday morning and afternoon at home watching drama and tumblr. Then I asked Carmen for a coffee and she willing to drive me to Starbucks. Hell yes, I tried the new Cocoa Cappuccino and it was super awesome. :) (ohh, do you guys know Starbuck is with the new logo?) before that, we went to Pak N Save to get some ingredients for tomorrow’s dinner due to some problem mum is not cooking for us tomorrow. Then some snack for us the first time to bake some cookie and fuck yea.

WE DID NOT MAKE IT WORK. Actually it was all my fault, I put 250grams of coca power instead of 25grams and the result came out with this. Pretty awesome ay?

Then mum came back from her friend’s place to get us out for dinner. Went to Wairau Park. Samurai Kitchen Restaurant, Japanese food for Sunday’s dinner I’m so lucky to have this family. :)

FINALLY. I’m done with this post.

nvm, just tired.

Recently, I been into these situation.

I'M FUCKING TIRED

· I’m tired of losing friends.

· I’m tired of fighting.

· I’m tired of being lied to.

· I’m tired of drama.

· I’m tired of crying.

· I’m tired of never being happy.

· I’m tired of trying so hard, and have it be one sided.

· I’m tired of being bitter.

· I’m tired of being used.

· I’m tired of not sleeping.

· I’m tired of missing people.

· I’m tired of hiding my feelings.

· I’m tired of missing you.

· I’m tired of trying.

· I’m tired of being tired.

sometimes, it helps.

Keep you in the dark you know they all pretend.

We want to get drunk tonight so badly. So now I know why people like to get themselves drunk.

I fucked up everything.

I am so lost. I am so scared for my future. :(

The end of week six. I need some break, a real break no matter how long is it. I just need a break needa get some fresh air and get rid of these problems that bother me all the time. I kinda hate how time flies nowadays, when I was young I always wish to have a teenage life but when you’re in it you feel like turning back the time. So you can just don’t give a damn with anything that are happening now. So this year, friends is not a problem for me anymore but then the world is like giving me a mission. Work hard in school and assignments. Level 2 in NCEA, I am so gonna kill myself and these things are actually annoying me. All I feel now is, why I cant be how I used to be. Go to the principle room once a week just like last time, get community service with the buddies and hearing ‘Jessie come out!’ after the assembly in the morning. Oh well, that was my best school life ever yet now it is like not anymore. We grow up, we think differently and we’ve been placed in the different part of the world. This is just life. We cant stick to the same peers as always. It’s not to say that having a lot of friends is not a good thing but it’s just kinda hard to define who are the ones who really care for you when things happened.

Oh well, life still goes on no matter what happen. Earthquake, tsunami all those natural disaster are just annoying. Nobody wants you to be here just go away from the earth maybe you should just move to moon or something.

Apparently, I’ve been into this situation over three days and nothing actually goes right. FML.

fucking unfortunate experience.

The worst experience ever. Seriously, you would be laughing fucking loud after seeing this post. So just now around like 11 at night. I was preparing to go and get a bath then off to bed. While I’m taking bath, the whole neighborhood’s electricity ran out which mean I was in the middle of the bath and you cant even see a thing. I FCKING HATE THAT and at that moment when your parent is not at home and only left yourself with a homestay. OMFG, you know what I was washing my hair and all shampoo all around my head and face. It’s just lucky that it wasn’t running out of water or else I will be FUCK THE WORLD. Anyway, so I ran downstairs and check out the power only with my towel on. LIKE WTF. The electricity ran out for half an hour which mean I was in a situation of nowhere. All you can do is using cold water to wash your head and trying to dry it up and now Mr. headache comes and visit me. Don’t even do that if you have a chance to know that there will be electricity running out. OMG. Why am I sharing this, I’m fucking pissed at the moment.

!@#$%^&*()QWERTYUIOP !@#$%^&*

FUCK THE DOUCHE BAGS!!!!

a short week but a long day.

One of my assignment’s photo.

Thank God, today is Friday. :) Finally, week 5 is coming till the end which mean more internals are coming up and assignments are nearly due. Oh well, I just handed in my first assignment of Art History just in time today. I thought I’ve done it like in an just achieve level ‘cause today I saw their essays are like 2000 words and my eyes were wide opened! 2000words when it only require 600 words, that’s kinda too over I suppose. Friday is always tiring with day 4’s timetable which is double economics then English for last. That’s just suffer to do English at the last period and it’s not in reading room. *DISASTER!* So I’ve done my English internal on Wednesday and it was alright for the first paper and the second one I’m like doing nothing! Yes, I’m so gonna fail for the second paper. Although, the paper was filled full but there were just craps and I have no idea what I actually wrote for it. Never mind, will just try not to think of it although there are re-sits for the test in two weeks time.

Oh, I got back my photography assignment and guess what I got just achieve for overall. For the first task was Merit, kinda happy when I saw the first task’s result but then the second and last were like bullshit. Not to give any excuse but blame myself. I fucking hate the feeling when you thought you can do it but you just never take the chance for that certain thing you believe in. ftw just because the feeling. I just hate it. So things been messed up as always for the whole week and hell yeah tiring! :( Another assignment of photography is here and FML! I’m so wanna get over it like please. The other subjects were totally alright except for economics. Oh gosh, I don’t get a thing about it. About the GDP and some kinda growth in NZ which I don’t really give damn on it actually is important. Hope I can actually change my subject. It’s like gaining stress from every lil bit from school and then assignments that are due at the end of term which is really fast.

I hate my school life. I hope I can just live in my dream and never wake up again. Maybe someday I will just wake up and there’s no such work allow me to do. A relaxing life will be just fine for me. As the other day, there is an earthquake in NewZealand, Christchurch and people died, lost the homes and lost the educations. Then I heard that there will be one coming up to Auckland in like 2 or 3 months time ‘cause there was one in Wellington and everyone was like getting emergency kits, drinks and food also shelter. Oh dear, I’m gonna be dead soon. :/

So the other day, I was kinda like grumpy for the whole day for no reason then got a text from a storyteller. Yeah, that guy is a really good storyteller sent me a photo and that actually can make you smile. Will update more about it someday. Not in blogspot tho.

Apparently, I didn’t run out of MBs for my phone. :) at least, there is one entertainment for me. Yea, I was chatting with Selina about iPad2 and hell no. I want it like wth. I never want an iPad but now I want an iPad2. Haha perhaps, I will just wait for BlackBerry PlayBook it might be way better. Oh, if you guys add my sister in facebook. You would realize that my house gonna have a pet soon. Drop by her profile and have a look. According to her information, we gonna get a sheep dog by next week and dad allows us to keep it which is just incredible. I love my family bits and pieces. <3

Another favorite of mine in the assignment.