up in the air.

The last day of January of twenty eleven. I had memories within this month and I started to miss it already. Leaving real soon. I’m terrify for going back facing the books, school, people everyday. I’m regret with what I’ve chosen for the courses that I am taking but it’s too late to change it. There’s only two compulsory subjects that stay the same 4 others have changed. Thought of taking accounting back and geog back but too late. I chose eco which I never studied before a brand new subject. Art History, saying easy but it needs to be catch up. Human never get what they always wanted just never. School, this is a huge school which would be easy to meet new people but to be honest. To meet the people that you really wanna be close with it’s hard. I met people but never get close with people. I admit that, am not sociable enough to meet these people and asking them and telling them jokes like how my sis did last time. Saying hi and bye it’s just …

Just speechless with it, about people in school just no word to describe. So the coming Saturday, I will be going back and meeting this place and saying hi and bye all the time. Being alone at home, trying to work hard with my NCEA level 2 this year. Try to score more credits for the coming year and try to get into the uni I want, the subjects I want and meeting the people I want. This is just hard. I hate how my family asking me ‘don’t you want friends?’. After this question I will just fake a smile and saying I have but just not too close to chat. I answered the same thing every single time. I have no more answer for this question. Not anymore.

Having the time with the love ones on twitter. Saying goodbye, and it makes me feel like am not gonna be back anymore. Oh girls, I miss you guys. L I wish there’s no such word as distance. I will just go through all this pain and make my day like it’s a brand new day. No more going back to the memories and trying to get it back. :X

Why does everything have to be so complicated?

Dream big and high. There’s no such word as limit in my dictionary. I am now trying to cut of disappointment in the dictionary now like if I could. :)

ffked the hangout. :(

The hangout.

30rd of January, I received an invitation by the boss the day before. I was so excited that, this could be the last hang out and it’s a hangout that I ever wanted to go yet I ffk-ed. I wasn’t being happy like what I actually wanted to happy. ‘cause this hangout would actually be the last hangout that I gonna have with them. Pei, wei, kh, cw, david and some boys. Oh well, too bad I just ffk straight after. I was suppose to get out of the house at 1 but dad came back late and pick us up at 3 and off to ampang to send something then off to kepong again. First, I was saying I must go to the hangout to myself but things changed at the last minute. Dad brought the whole family out and for no way that am gonna say that I wanna join the buddies. That’s just so wtf. Somehow, I ditched them when my dad is also heading to pv at the same time.

Like seriously, this is the hangout that I ever wanted but I just ditched them. Not depress but just cant get over myself with these matters. anyway, I met a lot of people in Pavilion. First, the AWESOME retarded son, How J-Sern. I didn’t know I have a time to meet him one day like wtf. Then, we met YeeCher, aunty Sharon and a singer(dontknowwhat’sthename). Bought nothing but had the RM600 dinner at Kampachi. Was super full until the dessert it’s not into my stomach. ;( Off back home around 10. Rush to watch OneMillionStar. At least, we didn’t miss the time that JessLeeJiaWei sings. She was just AWESOME, the Malaysian that make me feel so proud. J

The second part of the contest.

Carmen was saying if she didn’t win this competition she will just throw shit in Taiwan.

Luckily she won. J

27th of Jan w/ the couple Hui(S).

The day starts with a rain.

Woke up in the morning, kept yawning for no reason. I was suppose to go to hospital today but too bad we missed the appointment time. It was at 1145 and we thought it’s at 1445. So we booked tomorrow for check up. Somehow, we went out for breakfast and it rained. Thought today would be lil bit windy and not so sunny but it just rained.

Then back home and drop grandma home. O well, after daddy telling me that they are so many people dying outside and I got an infection from ‘GreatDay’. I wish my grandparent are healthy and being happy all the time. No doubt, although they are kinda annoy sometimes yet I miss them like how I miss the others. ;(

Anyway, then off to aunty debby’s shop and waste sometime when it’s only one around that time. I wrote a letter for her like seriously I haven’t been writing letters for like more than a year. I miss having homeworks from SM. Those were memories. Around 3 off to Quan’s palce, saw HngHng and Joe also ah yi. We played Joe’s iPhone for half an hour then the princess just go to bath. I almost forgot how long that princess would take for a bath but it’s too late. We wait her until 5 then off to MidValley. As all Malaysians know that time it’s the jam time so we slept and left the boss drive with Khalil Fong’s songs playing on and on. ;) We arrive there about half an hour. (I can actually get home by now and then) So we parked in TheGarden, then Quan and I left the Mr.Joe alone. We were being too mean to him but you will never feel better when there is a guy following you on a ‘date’. ;X So we both went to MV, first thing to do FOOD which is SUSHI. We are sushi lovers so off to SushiZen, a place where I celebrated birthday two years ago. Well, this place remind me of the cupcakes.

“QUAN! You look so think in my eyes. ;)”

IKURA, it’s a MUST from sushi menu.

The adorable one. ;)

After dinner, we did what other girls will do which is SHOPPING but I got nothing for the day. Since, there’s nothing like what I was looking for I just help the love to get a necklace from Diva. Then help William to get his PS3 game, KillZone2. Then walk up and down, we saw an advertisement which wrote about YOGURT ICECREAM which it’s the princess love so we were trying to find it for like about an hour. Then finally found it from the information center. SPOON. This place it’s just beside Delicious like omfg, we been looking for it like an hour. Somehow, we tried how good was it. I ordered GreenTea with tiramisu and topping with jelly beans. Besides, quan ordered Original topping with GummyBears. It was just awesome. That was the time we chilled and the time the couple STALKED.

THEY WERE STALKING!

The best driver ever, <3

I suppose, they worried too much about me for being that curious on the boy. Somehow, am just glad that they cared. At least. ;) then about 9 off to TheGarden and get Heidi’s present from Quan. After that, it’s time to get back since my mum it’s waiting for me outside her place.

On the way to the basement, we love taking photos. ;)

The boss, driver and lover of hers. ;)

I HAD AN AWESOME DAY w/ PhangHuiQuan and HuiJoeYang.

Appreciate for the drive and opinions. ;)

memories of mine in this place.

This will be a wordy post without any photos but description of the mood I had in SM today.;)

I went back to this place today. There’s not much different about StellaMaris just the paint and new juniors. Well, I went there around ten past three. First thing I saw was minicourt. I miss that place where the girls’ basketball team were held in with the sunny bright sun. Looking the juniors playing without pjk shirts on. Those were memories, anyhow I went through the office and the first teacher I saw. Mrs.Param , the best mathematic teacher. she stays the same but the first thing she call me was CARMEN. My reaction was wtf but this can be excused since she’s old and she doesn’t really like me for joining the boys in form 3M. oh well, that year was awesome but things also happened in that year. Anyhow, the first mate I saw was JernJeit. Yes, that chubby guy that talk craps. He was in a rush so we just hugged and saying hi&bye. ;) So I off to auditorium with my piggy leg from the back doors. Saw the guys having training. First to talk with KiatGee. He stays the same. Fair, talk, talk craps and eat. Then the coach came, I joined the girls. Yeap, PeiYi, XueSze and also Brenda. It’s been a month that I actually see Pei and Sze like seriously I miss them. Looking at them let me think of the time I stayed back in SM’s canteen and waiting for mum to pick me up. Brenda, the hun who used to stay back just for her boy,HanXian.

So we chatted and chilled for about 1 and half hour then Pei needs to get back home with her bro. Then it’s Sze’s turn. The hugs and photos weren’t enough for two years to keep. Oh well, they never like to take photos but at least one from each. Then walked down from audi to assembly hall to let them go off my eye sight. Walked slowly to audi again, I met Mr.Liew. The so called science teacher for the form 1s and 2s. We talked, he is getting older like seriously. Last time, he never talk so soft and never smile. Well, he talked about the gang that used to be together and how bad were we and how fun was the school with us and how troublesome were we. That were fun, that’s teenage life.

Got into audi, there were preparing to finish the training. Fortunately, some of them did talk to me or else I will be a freak at there. ;( Thanks to ChunWeng, KiatGee and HanXian. I met the skills of them and the players of SMSM. Just glad.

After that, off to mamak with HX,JY,KH and Brenda for about 20 minutes off to lrt station. They were in a rush only da and I took the same train and kh took the same way but different train. The other two off to ktm station. Today’s plan was all in rush but do appreciate that we say hi&bye also a smile from everyone of them. It’s been ages that I actually see them face to face with a smile. Hope I could have the same feeling again meeting them perhaps two more years? Just hope.

Oh, on the way to mamak I got questions from them about the same guy. That moment was funny.

-Whereyourbfcomefrom? -Howyoumeetyourbf?

-Whyyoulikehim? -It’salongdistancerelationship.

Thought of telling them the truth but no. Just let it be will be better. J

establish harmony and balance in your life.

I’ve got two cases here.

His love problem and also her friendship’s problem.

A life couldn’t be complete if there aren’t any problems exist. This is just life, this is the challenge that you should be facing. Friends, love and family. For asian countries, family is not a problem at all but friend is ,so do love.

Friends, being left out by others or being blame by others or even being hate by others. Asian cant actually get into western country normally , there are always some racist people around. That’s how we live, having competition and also being strong at sometime. Even the friend you used to be close will never be there for you forever. They changed so do you, people have different opinion on their friends. Perhaps for me I think she changed to worse and maybe for her I changed to worst. That’s the point of all. You never know how a person feels until you ask and he/she tells.

Besides, love is also a problem in our life. We felt in love, but you never know would he/she left you or even he/she gets annoy about it. He/she could actually feels nothing with you and just trying to have some fun with others instead of you or even the ex. You never know how they think , you cant read their mind. All you can do it’s wait, try not to think much and also stalk. Other than that, if you ask in your mind will be wonders and some negative stuff so all you can do it’s wait for him/her to be the one who started the topic.

A point to male readers, females wouldn’t want to be the one who starts a topic without the relationship. All females do is wait and wait and wait for the guy to be the one first. That’s all.

Pistanthrophobia

-the fear of trusting.