When you don't reply back
Many things run through my mind…
· - What did I do?
· - Damn I fucked up!
· - Did I scare you away?
· - Wow fuck my life.
· - Fine, don’t talk to me anymore.
· - Why don’t you wanna talk to me anymore?
· -I miss you so much.
· -Please talk to me again.
· -Please reply back.
· -God, This sucks.
-please come back…
I ruined all the things and now I don’t know how I feel anymore. Everything fall apart and I am now trying to put ‘em into how it used to look like. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life.
Perhaps, we spent too much time wondering why we are not good enough.
I wish my wishes would come true. I wish I did not say no. I wish my parent will never die. I wish there’s no education. I wish there is not uni. I wish my life wouldn’t be so complicated. I wish I am skinny. I wish I can get what I want. I wish I am smart to get through these things easily. I wish I am sociable. I wish there’s no gap between me and you. I wish you would say hey. I wish things will go smoothly. I wish you will help me. I wish you are here. I wish you tell me everything. I wish there is no doubt. I wish I’m not a replacement. There are too many wishes. Oh well.
The last question for you.
emssimneveuoyod?
Chinese New Year.
It’s always about food, drinks, lanterns and also RED. :) There is no such thing as Chinese New Year in here and I don’t really have a mood for saying happy new year babe. If I’m in Msia I would just smiling all the time trying go visit every single relatives I have. Too bad, I’m in nz now and I wish to gamble, eat, drink and taking photos of them.
Anyway, today is ‘cho 8’ (the 8th of cny). As a Hokkien, I should be at home and busy prepare with ‘bai tian gong’ which is a big ceremony to say thanks to god, I suppose. Yet I’m here facing the computer and the books from school and kept yawning for certain reasons and wishing I could celebrate CNY next year. :(
Somehow, Happy Chinese New Year people!
It’s Thursday already. I’ve came back from MY for 4 days already. This week seems to be long like really long. I was wishing it to go faster so I could actually catch a breath from school. School is driving crazy with those subjects. Economics, Sociology, English, Mathematics External, Photography and Art History. These are nearly a brand new subjects for me. I’ve got ‘friends’ in the class, yea at least got some. I just realize that I actually chose subject which are all about essays. Eco you needa write a lot, sociology the perspective, English ESSAYS, math theory, photography those assignment that am gonna face and art history to write the theme of a French’s artwork.
Oh well, it’s too late for me to change subjects by now. Perhaps, if I have a chance still I don’t know what to choose either. So I was sitting a great seat with Jinny in Sociology class and now the freakin’ teacher just change our seats because this is a new unit. According to her sociology class is about people communicating but now it doesn’t work to me at all. Damn that freak.
So about math, the teacher mentioned to us that if you can actually catch up do not learn math external. Perhaps, she was just talking to me. I couldn’t catch up until today Julie taught me the parabola and the cubic. Really glad that she used up her lunch time on me with numbers on her mind. So I might not giving up on math external. Need to be fighting through the problems that I am having, at this moment. It’s a must.
Due to the laptop been formatted I do not have any photos to upload and do not have any songs to recommend. So yea, this will be a wordy blog for some time.
