My head is stuck in the clouds,

it's been a month.

2011-11-22T16:37:00.001+13:00

hello there. :)

It's been a month since i last blog. Blogging used to be a part of my life last time but these days school works tend to take over my every interest. oh well! Let's just say time flies it really does. Within this month things change so quickly. I've finished 3 of my papers and 2 left. I had my birthday celebration. I have friends who are leaving. My sister gone back to M'sia. I officially braces free. :) One thing I feel weird about is myself. Things around me really change a lot yet I am still trying to loose weight, wishing so hard to get through every little things. However, here I am gone through so many things... good or bad. OH WELL!

Fluffy is so fluffy these days and i love her. <3

So in another month time I might be in M'sia enjoying my summer break with the besties. I cant wait to go back and meet them and annoy them all day long. :) Before these thoughts the first thing i have to go through is my other two paper. Sociology and Eco. OMFG! I just cant wait to go through them no matter how many credits I gotta have within this year. lol!

Anyway, I have to go now. Really need to start study for my last two papers and work starts! :)
Life has been pretty good. :3
and I will show you how good it has been through my face expression. heheeeee

Nicole dropped by and work on our video. :D

day before my braces off and day after. :)

right after a day and i put on my retainer. :D

later blog walkers. :D

less than 20 days.

2011-10-22T01:36:00.001+13:00

let's speak out the truth.

Exam starts on the 10th and guess there isnt much time left...
I dont wanna do a countdown 'cause i know when i do it i will get real stress and doing more shitty stuff. im gonna b so fucked up if i really dont start my revision now. I dont get how can my time table be so like a mess. first two days then math then the last two days i got two papers. OMFG, like seriously do you have to do this to me?! To be honest, within this holiday i only spent one day to do my english, math revision. other than that, my folders are all staying at the same place. :x

Frankly, I dont know what happen to me... time pass by and all i left is the laziness dragging me around. like today... I spend my time on sleep, tv and musics. Doing these shits cheer me a little but when the exam approach I gonna be so dead and stress out. I knew it but i dont know why... nobody will understand me in a moment like this. - misery, fckedup, mindfucked and all shitty feelings just come to me. :X

I can't do it. This time is harder than any time I used to be in. It has the right to affect my future and it sucks. Nobody is pulling me up when I'm drowning so badly... the time table I made is so UGH!

I wake up every morning and I say to myself, -
"just leave the memories behind and everything will be just fine."
yet, I didn't mean it at all.

原來我一直都還站在原地

matha eff-er.

2011-10-15T01:23:00.000+13:00

I have no idea what was I posting in da previous post!
Life has been so hard and I miss having people that would go through the ups and downs with me at anytime.

10 years.

Time flies.

Now I realized how much we have grown and changed.

to better or worse? nobody knows. :x

WELL!
time to sleep and work hard tomorrow peeps.

have a great night dolls. :D

An idea.

2011-10-15T01:17:00.003+13:00

*ignore this post if you hate bullshits*

Holiday has been gone for about 7 days, 9 days to go till this holiday ends then school for one and a half week then NCEA starts. I have a plan before this holiday yet I didnt actually follow it. The only thing I have followed was get my Learner done and hell to the yes! I've passed my Learner license. :)

Anyway, let's talk about some other shits now. As people know there's always an idea behind everything, not matter what it is. Well for me I think behind a design there's always an idea that can not be explained. It will be explained until the artist say it out by him/herself.

I dont know why am I saying this but I used to think I was born for a reason or maybe an idea to deliver. People say I look like my dad and I really dont think I do. In fact, i thought i was meant to be someone like my dad but not physically. Until this holiday I realize who I really am in this family. A supportive member? A maid? A family that being used? An unknown? or maybe someone who related to you but you have no idea what's the truth of being born in a family. PHEW! I'm out of the topic maybe I shouldn't have talk about it.

ANYWAY! Imma get myself up and face the fact. The time is ticking away and there's not much time left which mean it is now the time to appreciate and do whatever is good for yourself but not for others. Sometimes, whoever you think they are nice; they are not but there are some exception. hmm...

OH WELL! time for some release and get your nerve prepared! :)

just realized this is my first photo which I smile without showing my braces. :)

guess is not that bad for you! :x

ciao...
~~.uoyotxobni'nidnesssimi~~

感謝愛人

2011-10-05T23:10:00.000+13:00

Songs that never get old are hard to find. Yet I found two albums that I will never press the stop button.

Firstly, 李佳薇 a Malaysian that wins 星光7班 and just released her album [感謝愛人]. This album include 10 songs and truly 10 of them are amazing. She has a voice that I will never get over with. I'm so gonna get her album when i got back to M'sia for sure.
Highly recommend you to listen to 分隔線 and 大火. She sings so well and I can honestly say every time i listen to her live through video all you can feel is that moment when your goosebumps stand straight up eventually.

分隔線 live by 李佳薇

_____________________________________

Besides, another album that I cant get enough with is 4 by Beyonce. Honestly, at first i think this album is kinda crap but after when you listen her song one by one it catches your ears.

I dont understand how she can actually dance so hard out when she's pregnant and she's gorgeous no matter what. Tell me who wouldn't sing her song when you're in karaoke. For me at least you have to sing two of her songs if not it doesnt count as karaoke. :X

In this album, I love a song named "I Was Here" and I can never go near the stop button. She's a great singer and she can do anything! Sing, dance, act and even her life is so happy with Jay-Z . :) *ootyrramretfaxes* heheee

This is a good song too!

Just press play and you will never b regret w. it! :)

Anyway, gotta off and study for tomorrow's test now.

Hope you guys enjoy listening to musics and as we know music will never get enough in our life! :)

CIAO!

bye Sep.

2011-09-30T23:55:00.001+13:00

Title says it all.

I have no idea what to blog but i just feel like blogging at the last day of September and on a Friday night. I should say almost every Friday nights i tend to stay alone in my messy room, do things that i shouldn't be doing, spend time on the same thing and just look at the books without getting a thing into my mind. O well, that's me I guess.

So I booked my ticket to go back Msia. In fact, I was so excited to go back at first but after i got it I'm like nothing even happened. Anyway, go back to the past I see nothing. Two months ago I asked her about my future and she said I still have plenty of time yet after two months all i got from her as a teacher was "you should have planned all these earlier! you're in year 12 and you dont even have your own goal yet!" My reaction was as usual - STARED. There's nothing much i can do i guess. As I grow older and older the time tend to tick faster and faster and it will never stopped. Is it simple or complicated? I got complicated now. :x

ANYWAY!
Let's see...
I have been working so hard with my photography portfolio and finally...
I'm done with it and hopefully I will get 'em printed in photography condition.
DARK ROOM! Imma come and visit you soon. :)
teehee.

a sneak peek for the viewers of what was I working on for the last few months.

Light bulbs, lava lamp and lights. :D

the day we got wasted and cam whore.

2011-09-24T00:26:00.000+12:00

The first sleepover I ever organised in NZ and it was great. So the second day after mocks finished and almost the same people came to my place and planned to get a wasted night. Talk about the first day right after the mocks, I remembered we all went to karaoke which was the asian's love as always. There were 7 of us and we got high in da middle of da street and trynna do some random shits in Starbucks while there were more than 50 people. oh well! a part of teenage life anyhow. *Starbucks instead of drinking* Got back around 12 and I satisfied with it. :)

Continue with the second night, Thursday and no school on Friday. *woohoo* The girls came to my place around 8 and we started our lovely chat about everything and everyone. :D Guess it shouldn't be named as a sleep over in fact we didn't actually sleep. I mean they did but not me and Selina. Both of us just tended to chat whole night and non-stop until William wakes up off to school. lol.

Guess now is the time to let the photos do the talking.

*while they were chatting I shouted "cheese!" and they squeezed in. :) *

they are lovely. :D

We got crazy anyhow. :3

after the energy we got noodles as supper or maybe dinner i guess. :)

there were delicious but a lil too salty thanks to "Lydia"

waiting water to be boiled.

Aliens in da house. ewwwww

__________________________________________________

Woke up around 10 then off to McD for breakfast. :)

We were hyped!

ALIENS everywhere. heheee

please ask 'em to go back to mars.

FINALLY!
I'm done with a photo post and if you're my weekly viewer,
you would definitely know it has been ages since I last blog something like this and I used to do it at least twice a week before. :x
As the time goes, people change. lazier , uglier, fattier and more dumb.

Allow me to give you a shock! :D
I dont give a damn with my imagine anymore. :p

teehee. :D

Somebody got wasted and the photo is secretly in my phone. :3

mocks.

2011-09-17T02:30:00.000+12:00

There it just passed. Finally, I have finished my mocks exam and thank God I actually finish it although i know the result will be real crappy. Let's just say I did not even start to study until the night before an exam. As a result i failed most of my paper. So call a mock would not effect on my life I suppose. I remembered i did almost the same thing last year and i was way easier than this year. In fact, I really dont know what is going on with the school. those subjects just cant treat me as well as last year. well well well. this is just life isn't it.

Look at this photo:

a messy bed with a mess of dumb refill.

This photo clearly shows you i actually worked hard in my last paper which is Sociology yet all i got back the result was !@#$%^(*&. I dont even wanna take a real look with it. I feel like I just dont tend to give a damn with what is going to happen and this is so not good. :(

laugh, love, smile and we are family.

2011-09-11T20:19:00.000+12:00

4th of September.
it was father's day and i remember when my dad first said he was going to come i was so excited and i can't even stop smiling. :) to be honest, it has been few months since i last saw him and overall within a year I didn't get to see him for more than a month. how sad is that. anyway. just before the day he leave NZ and off back to M'sia was father's day. We actually didn't celebrate Father's Day with him for about two years and i can see how a dad actually need love from the family. Well, now let the photos do some talking due to the broken English I have.

Red velvet cake with dark chocolate toppings

look how cute is my dad. :3
he's the cutest man ever. <3

anyway, imma off to study.
Eco tomorrow and i can't wait till Wednesday so i can get my freedom back at least for 2 weeks. :D
imma fight you!

these ain't right.

2011-09-10T23:28:00.000+12:00

K. I'm done trying like totally.

So after today, four more weeks until mocks and I am totally stuck with economic, art history and sociology. 3 out of 6. just damn. a moment like this will never let me have a break. within these two weeks of schooling, i think i did not even get an average sleep hours for a day. As in today I slept for 10 hours like finally. I love Friday, it allows me to sleep away the sadness, stress and worries until Saturday. For hell's sake, if you wake up with a really good mood but it all being ruined due to one reason. Two women in the house having menstrual at the same time. Today, I finally realize how could it be when it happens. The arguments over the little things, the what the fck look from both of them make me feel like shit.

Today's routine was just the same as how every Saturday was. awake, eat, slack, homework, fluffy's bath time, slack, homework, work then eat, bath, slack, homework, and time for some sweet sleep. Compare to weekdays, i prefer weekdays.. wake up, school, lunch, real short nap, slack, homework, dinner, slack, homework and bath then homework and sleep. Almost everyday weekdays i did that unless i get to go out. To be honest, i am broke.

2011-09-08T23:28:00.000+12:00

this life is getting harder to get used to. Things are so much different then how it were. I miss the old times when I just worry about nothing and do whatever I want even though I am not suppose to do so. There were memories, I wonder how are things going on back there. The people, the place, the weather and the everything. Sometimes, I choose not to care but when I'm trying my best not to care there will be someone coming out and remind me of those little things. It is alright, perhaps things will be okay when time goes by. :)

bee zi la.

2011-08-30T23:04:00.003+12:00

be who you really are.

you are

Seriously, I shouldn't be blogging on a Tuesday night where I have my math test tomorrow. Calculus test and I can never get Excellent for it. Achieve could be 100% sure but the 50% of Merit just making me insane. I have been working so hard out in math these days but guess what. I just dont get it thru at all.

I just realize most of the time I blogged about my school life instead of my own reality life. oppsy! In fact, I can't find anything interesting in my life other than these things. Anyway! My dad is here. He arrived on Sunday the 28th and he bought 90kgs things. NO! I did not type the wrong number. IT IS NINETY kgs. He bought at least 6 bottles of Sticky, 15 boxes of Royce chocolate, 4 Toblerone and etc. I am glad that he finally bought my teddy here! :) a gift from the love ones. TJY, TCW &TKH if im not wrong. lol! It has been more than a year since I got it. This is a huge one, doodolls! who wouldn't love 'em. They are soft and comfy. :D Besides, daddy bought a digital camera which is always the same model as usual and last but not least a Film SLR that I keen for ages. got a film and got the camera but the problem is i have no idea how to use it. heheeeeee.

Oh well! Imma try my best to expert with my DSLR first tho. So after two days of slacking for dad and his friends. They are now in upper north which he goes every time he comes. I love my family so much that i just can't stop pitching their faces for more than a week. heheeee

Gonna off to bed soon after another test revision paper for Calc. tata peeps. :D

the hang out. :3

2011-08-17T21:51:00.004+12:00

Let me refresh my mind…

Sunday, 15^th of August. Got out with the Taiwanese that I would never get annoy with, Selina and Kevin. Woke up at 10 and I smell FOOD! Damn it, mum was cooking asam laksa which I could never resist of. Heheee, this is the reason why am I so fat and never get skinny. I have a GREAT cook at home. :3 Anyway, back to the hang out. Selina came to my place around 12 and pick Kevin up from BK to go to Wairau. We planned to go and have dim sum but we ended to go and have a Vietnamese brunch. J it was great. Then rushed to Albany mall to catch up the movie time for “Rise of the Planets of the Ape” unfortunately we took too long to have our brunch. So we just chose to watch KF panda which was pretty boring. :x The hang out ended around 7 then got drive back home by Selina’s mum.

Photos of the day.

Taken from a HTC.

Taken from a BlackBerry.

And it is obvious that my BB wins. J

fly away.

2011-08-03T00:38:00.001+12:00

I wish I could just tell you guys what we were last time. We weren’t in a relationship. We weren’t just friends. Perhaps a flirtationship. Then now both of us are just strangers. A total stranger. I wish they understand. I’m terrified. I’m afraid of awkward moments and the starred moment. Just not right. I don’t like it when they keep mentioning over the same freaking guy when it was totally a past. I tried to get over it but please just stop mention about the same thing when it just starts to get more boring than before. When it comes to this way, it is not a joke anymore. It starts to be annoying, people. Stay clear as crystal. Things tend to stuffed up and like seriously.

Going to the mid of term3’s week 1 and im struggling with subject choice for next year. Advises from them are fcked up and it almost the same as last year. Not good. Is always bad to go into a high school which accept international students. THEY ARE SO DAMN RACIST and nobody bother to complain about it. I’m wondering what am I going to be in the future. I have not much problem until this education thing is surrounding me. Im going to have subject choice done by this week and an English internal also the Art History. Omfg. I just realize I have to resit my Sociology assessment that I did last term and it was like a month ago. How am I supposed to remember with zero memories? DAMN!!!!! cbs dah.

Wing ring. J

you should be supportive.

2011-07-29T23:32:00.001+12:00

I thought a change would be good. I thought they always wanted me to change. I thought they would be supportive. I thought they would not think that way. Those thoughts are just thoughts yet the fact is they laugh, they tease and they never thought how I would feel. Finally, I know how great they are. I’m glad. It wasn’t me to over think on purpose but teasing is not fun. Teasing can be a joke but sometimes there’s always some seriousness behind a joke and it’s not funny at all. Just uutieff.

I’m on the last Friday night of this holiday. It sucks. Holidays always pass in an extremely fast way, I just don’t get why I can’t get a holiday that I think it worth it all. ;X well, for the first week of this holiday I did some really healthy stuff. Visited Rangitoto Island for 6 hours and being exhausted for the whole frigging next day.

View from the island.

Played badminton for the whole afternoon and having cramps at night. Bad cough and headache came along after these healthy activities. Went to Wellington with mum for a so call one day trip. Went to shopping with Selina and I fall into a flat that I would ever want yet it ran outta size. Then for the weekend I spent on food, sleep, dramas and work.

For this second week I went to McDonald almost like every day to rush my assignments. Since I have wasted the whole week before and this time imma work harder (iplanned). Unfortunately, I only get 2 essays done and I have one essay and two assignments to work on. I should not feel this way but to be honest, photography is driving crazy and it is not a good sign. So I went to city today with KH to meet up sis and went for a walk then off to New Market. Sis got a pair or shoe and I got my first pair of ear rings and I spent 85nzd on it.

Umm, pretty worth I suppose. Marc by Marc Jacob is the thing. :3

Anyway, I’m searching for new shoes. L I suppose every type of shoes will be great except for heels. ;X I need more shoes, more clothes, more jeans and more hoodies. I walked pass the beats shop in city today and I really wanted one. I have been craving it for about two years and is just so fucking annoying that I cant save any money. Also I walked pass a shop, a toy models shop and I saw the collection of Jack Skellington and I craving for one. Just cost so damn much and I just wish I can afford everything that I wanted to buy. As people always say 世上沒有不勞而獲 perhaps they are right.

Time to go, tar peeps. J

stop it, like seriously.

2011-07-10T23:58:00.000+12:00

Don’t ask me what am I going to study in Uni. Don’t ask me why am I taking these random subjects together. Just don’t ask me why, what and how. I don’t know how to answer and I have never thought of those before. If I have a chance I would take a look at the future and so I could work hard from now on but no, it’s impossible. Gonna have subject choice done on the second week of term 3 and I have no idea what am I going study. I seem to be suck in everything just every single things and it is a disaster. A photographer? I cant have any new idea to take. A lawyer? Bad english language. Study business? What am I suppose to do in the future?! A sociologist? Bad english, Jess. ==

These fucking thoughts always pop out and it distract me, always. Not good girl, not good enough. I always wonder what’s the point of studying when the world just keeps changing in fact nobody cares about the history, the making off and the whatevers. What we study now don’t seem to relate back to this reality.

dont worry.

2011-07-10T00:43:00.001+12:00

Within a week, I will get my two weeks holiday, ready for term 3 and the mock exams. Two assignments are due before this week and I am still blogging, working and wasting my time with some useless things. I’m shitty, I’m suck, I’m stress, and I’m tired. So tired… A life which fills with people more than people that I knew but all I feel was being left out, weird and just weird. I thought I have a better life than before, I thought I have a smile which is real, I thought this life was easy, and I hope things will be so much easier than now after.

Perhaps, everything will be fine.

honey, please show me your magic.

2011-07-06T23:51:00.001+12:00

Three days, I have been coughing non-stop for three days. It sounds alright but actually not, talking to somebody when I cant actually hear what I am trying to tell others. Trying my best to deliver a message to a friend and they just don’t get it at all. Feeling so sleepy and sick during internal for the whole week. Try to concentrate during class but no. trying to get into a better sleep but the cough just woke me up. It sucks. All of these don’t work at all. It sucks real lot.

Everything is a mess even I am a mess too. One and a half week till holiday the end of term 2, I’m excited yet kinda depress. As everything is due, D;

Economic internal is on till this Fri, English creative writing assessment is due on next Tues, Sociology whole internal is due next Fri, Math test tomorrow, ArtHistory assessment checkpoint next Thurs and due on the first day of term 3. I wish time will just stop for a moment and let me get these things done. This is so hard. I miss the relaxing life I had before.

Just let it burn and make everything so smoothly like before.

#865.) i cant take it.

2011-07-03T23:40:00.001+12:00

It has been nearly a month since I last post something serious. Life’s been busy since term 2 has started. Assignments are issued and internal is going on and assessment is due and so on… school works tend to take over my life this term, 11 weeks and I just realize there’s two weeks left, just like that, 2011 is half over.

So the prom of Rangi was on the 30^th of June and I wasn’t there. Actually im kinda regret for not attending that but still there’s one next year I suppose. Well, as people attend the ball I went to karaoke with Selina and Lydia. It was fun but the most exciting part was when three of us went to Starbucks and let the photo session started while other people were just staring at us with that weird eye sight. LOL! Got home around 11 and looking back through the photos we took I just thought of getting an iPad2 cause it helps to take awesome photos and those applications are so cool. Oh well, maybe I should just stop getting these stuff since money is no longer a thing to me anymore.

Money doesn’t seem to follow me more than a week. This is depressing and I dont actually know where I spent them on until the account balance is sent back to the house. Somehow, I just cant live without money and I need money to survive. D; ughhh, money can you just pop out in my wallet or maybe just increase in my bank account. ;C Maybe in my dream there will happened.

I need to face the fact. Money can’t buy you family, love or friends. Smile doesn’t mean you’re happy. Cracked up doesn’t mean it’s funny. Somehow, family will disappoint you and all you left is just depression.

Finally, after these years I’m sick. OFCIALLY SICK! Great.

#864

2011-06-15T23:07:00.000+12:00

Fluffy! J

She’s adorable.

#863

2011-06-14T23:26:00.001+12:00

I have been blogging for four years and I never get bored of it until I know there’s twitter and tumblr which is so convenient to use. Not to say blogging is not convenient but I actually blog more on tumblr than in blogger. I don’t know why but it seems there’s like nothing much I can blog about nowadays. I remember the last time I blog because I want to share the story of my life with the super ‘lala’ english and the xs’ I used. Omg, I cant even look back into my older posts. To be honest, that’s pretty embarrassing to mention about. *pleasedontlookbacktheolderpostsiwrote*

I can say I spent at least two years time on blogger just to blog and be a blog walker. I tried to earn money with it but it seems to be so hard just to get 50 bucks MY it’s been two years I joined nuffnang but I only got 50 bucks once and I was so glad at that time. Yet now I’m like wasting 50 bucks a day and still not enough. The life I live in is getting harder, everything is getting harder the educations, friendships, bonding with family and also getting into a real relationship. People were saying that the life is easier with the technology but the truth is it changed our life. The life opportunities and the way we communicate. People used to write diaries and now they blog them out. People used to get photos printed out but now they upload into Facebook and that’s all.

Nowadays, people just don’t get how to stop judging a person throughout their outfits and the way they speak. Sometimes, a person could be speaking in a wrong way but maybe all he/she wants is just you to put some attention and understand him/her. A person may tell jokes all the time not just because he/she wants to be the entertainer but all he/she wants is just deliver the happiness to others or ever he/she just wants to over the sadness on their face. This life is complicated, you wouldn’t know what a person wants unless you ask and he/she tells.

So… I may not be perfect like other but at least I know how to get my thing done just before things turned too late. I admit that there are times when I feel regrets with the shits I have done yet it’s never too late get over it and have a new start, I suppose. ;L

I’m not skinny, rich, pretty, adorable, friendly, sociable or even party animal like others but maybe I can just get the friends who accept who I really am instead of acting like I’m comfy with everything when is not. :)

I love my twitter’s dp.

ughh#2

2011-06-12T23:30:00.002+12:00

Week 7, term 2.. four more weeks till midterm break. To be honest, I can’t wait till I get my break but before students get some rest all they need to do is rushing to get the assignments done and done with the internal. So week 7, it means I gonna be finishing my photography assignment and start another new one yet Sociology has the internal coming up and statistic internal on Thursday. Orhh emmm giii. I need to finish up my photos and get them printed then sociology survey analysis and the social issues internal’s facts. Holly shit, now I just realize how much work should be done just before the end of this term. So Chinese day is coming up and school’s prom night is coming up. I have made up my mind. Im going to go Chinese day but not the prom that might only happen once in a life time. So I gave an stupid excuse for not going is just that I cant accept myself with dress on, make up, heels and omg I just cant think of it anymore. D; this is depressing.

I just realize I have nothing to blog about these days. :x my life been going through the same routine every day and night. There’s no dream or even goals exist in my life anymore. I can’t crave for anything but just work. Work at mum’s place, school, home and perhaps life.

I don’t feel love but I wish to be loved. I’m totally over to somebody and I’m giving up on him. As a friend I wish he wouldn’t be doing the same thing to other girls. It hurts, you know have known.

2011-06-05T18:43:00.002+12:00

Long weekend turned my switch on.

Thursday after school went out with Lydia, Rachael and Belinda to Takapuna to have dinner. Waited Rachael in school’s library until 430 then took a bus by ditching Nic alone. Heheee got home around 10 after coffee and food. J

Friday, went downtown with Selina.. was suppose to go karaoke but the rainy weather actually turned both of us off. :/ so we just had our brunch, shopping, and some kinda random stuff. The day was alright but it was so damn cold that day. :3

She trying to discover my BB. :)

Saturday, woke up and meet Rachael up to get another ear pierce. Hell yea, i just got the normal ear pierce done last Thurs. Just after a week I got another one. Heheeee. I was scared of getting pierce before but now I’m alright with them. Another two ear pierce? I can wait till it recovers but it only been for a week. To be honest, it hurt so much when you’re trying to sleep with them for the first day. Then went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides , overall it was just alright. The whole movie doesn’t really relate back to the previous ones. 3 stars maybe?

second ear pierce.

Sunday, finally winter with the sun rose up and woke me up around 10 then mum brought the family off to Northcote get our brunch. Then off to Wairau to get Mr.Alphard a clean look with the sunshine. :) Used about 6 dollars for that day surface and from that I’m all wet by Carmen she spread all the soap on me instead of the car. OH WELL! We are genius anyway. Then got home round 3, off to cricket park and had a run with Fluffy and met Selina and Kirby. :) they both played for like 2 to 3 hours and I got home around 5; had bread as dinner. :( around 9, sis and others came back then off to watch X-Men: First Class. To be honest, I think it is way better than what I watched before and it’s better than pirates4. :x *inmyopinion*

i'm done.

2011-05-30T23:30:00.003+12:00

dear assignments and test:

please be nice to me. i know i didn't actually do my very best but please i need you anyhow.

sincerely,

me.

the truth is:

i'm done the shits you given me for the last few months. let me be clear, i fell for you and i admit there is a moment that i really thought both of us will be together yet now i know what to do is good for myself. i tried my best to ignore, to stand still, to not shed a tear and not to think a thing about you. I know this would take a long time but it is better just to stay here wishing time will change everything. I've figured them out.

thank you for giving me those moments. ohh, i'm glad that i saw "uoyssimi".

i tried to ignore.

2011-05-29T01:38:00.000+12:00

having cartoon bed sheet doesn't mean childish. it helps to refresh your mind with the life you live in. it can't always be tough somehow having heaps of Spongebob sleep with you every night is a kind of happiness. :)

do what you promised.

2011-05-29T00:09:00.000+12:00

Bought a new bracelet but it doesn’t look the same like what I had last time. My favorite bracelet is being stolen by somebody. Oh well, I’m not sure how is it doing now but I just miss it so much and I hardly hear things about it anymore. :( hoping someone did what he has promised. Maybe it does look simple and it doesn’t cost a lot like how some branded bracelet does but... (nvm) Anyway, I skipped work today went to karaoke and I spent more than 50 bucks which mean I had used up all the salary of two weeks’ hard work. OPPSY, I needa work more hard nao on. :X assignments are getting due, test next week, homework sheets due wed, birthdays coming up, prom night and internals. What am I suppose to do when I don’t even have enough time to move on with. Wish the time will just stop someday before these days are all due. D; *tears*

perhaps, it worth.

2011-05-28T02:34:00.000+12:00

Throughout this week I gained:- money, experience, STRESS, lack of sleep, understanding and bruises over my leg.

After two weeks’ hard work I finally got them and I’m glad. :)

I have no idea where I get them from but it worth after all.

same routine.

2011-05-28T01:23:00.000+12:00

It’s been more than a week that I actually blog about the current life. My current life is now in a routine which can say it’s not a bad bad thing every single day. Sleep, school, eat, work then school works. This life is just tiring, somehow it keeps me from over thinking of things that I should not have thought of. Three days till winter and I’m keen for it because of holiday yet that’s like 7 weeks to go BUT long weekend is coming up just for student who study in RangitotoCollege next week. :) wish there’s no work, assignments and internal coming up after. :x other than holiday, somehow I like winter because I get to wear hoodies. It helps to cover fats and some shits on my body. OH WELL! I’m so fat that I feel like cutting every fats in my body out. D; and I’m getting fatter these days. Although, there are stress but I just cant stop eating. :( So for me, winter encourage people into a hibernate situation. The moment that you just want to sleep without waking up just to chase after time that is slipping away every single seconds. I never have a chance to sleep more than 7 hours per day, this is just exhausted.

Vita Dolce: hole.

2011-05-20T22:24:00.001+12:00

A blog post that I actually feel almost the same.

Vita Dolce: hole.: "Why is it that we only realise how much things mean to us when they're gone? Is it because we take it for granted that they're always just g..."

People need our help.

2011-05-15T19:55:00.003+12:00

Hello world! :)

This post is not about personal life or even random stuff but it’s about the world we live in. This year World Vision is asking people to help raise money in the 40 Hour Famine to feel thousands of hungry children and families around the world. Thanks heaps if you’re reading this post! :)

Although we are living in the same world but there are almost a billion people in the world are hungry. This year, 40hr famine has a specific focus on East Tumor, one of New Zealand’s closest neighbours in the Asia-Pacific region. Half of all young children over there are malnourished. One of these children is 7 year old Lily, a girl who dreaming of going to school.

Wish you guys could help me with my famine which is no food for 40 hours from the 27th to 29th of May 2011. Please sponsor me, by donating money thru online will help raises 30% more funds. People need our help so grab your credit card and donate some money to make a change to this world.

Your 40 bucks to this organization can help to buy seeds and help 10 children in East Timor to have food for a whole year.

Be wide! Instead of spending these 40 bucks on new clothes and new shoes monthly, you can just use them to help 10 children that are living in a same world as us. We can make a change; GO HARD OUT FOR THE HUNGRY!

Heal the world, click in *here* to make your donation.

life shouldn't be like this.

2011-05-15T00:28:00.002+12:00

When the people around you are all getting into a relationship all you feel is just weird. Tash asked me a sensitive question the other and I told her the truth. That might be the very first thought that hidden in my mind for a long time and I just said it out without consider about the result. Nvm, things that are done cannot be undone.

Eason’s concert is coming. I told my sis that I couldn’t go because I have an internal right after the day yet now I’m still wondering should I go or not. It’s internal and another one is concert. :( I want both.

memang rindumu.

2011-05-15T00:03:00.000+12:00

Was supposed to write a post about Friday the 13^th yesterday but blogger was in maintenance so there’s no new post until today. Slept at 4 last night, I don’t know what I have done but all I can remember is I over thought with heaps of thing. Drank a lil bit last night, rice wine it tasted pretty good although the cover of the drink is kinda looks like milk before that I had milk tea from Vincent again. Anyway, woke up at 10 get myself prepared for school works until 12. People are awake then off to ‘yum cha’ at Birkenhead with Shally, Karen, Carmen, Will, Jackson and mum. Ate for like an hour then off to the mall to buy some stuff to the new shop.

Yea, we bought a takeaway shop which sell thai and malay food in Howick (SO DAMN FAR) to try to get some income and also a PR for mum. Oh well, around 3 got back home and prepare to work. The first day of 4 hours work for me. It was nothing at first but after standing in the shop for more than 2 hours, my legs just sore and it actually was going to cramp. As you know that I never work as a worker that need to stand for 4 hours straight before and this is my first time. It’s not that bad overall just kinda boring when you are sitting there waiting the customer to order their food. I was so happy that I was done with my first order which is success with a Laksa Seafood(Satisfied for today). Got back home around 10 and here I am, craving for sleep but there are heaps of works that are undone. I have done one essay and another one to go about an overview. I’m so tired! :(

In a sudden, I miss her so much. :’(

focus.

2011-05-10T21:16:00.001+12:00

Bought the 3D spec which is compulsory these days 'cause I watched Thor in 3D the other day. The movie was just fine i suppose, the storyline was kinda like typical God's story but i missed the most important part which showed after the credits. Until now I still dont know what did it show. :X

So maybe it's time to focus on study. second week of term 2, I'm working so hard on the assignments and perhaps a break without work due will be alright for me. So Saturday, I walked out of the house in the middle of the night around 1 without telling my mum yet i get scolded my sis instead of my mum. oh well, getting used to it anyway. was suppose to chill with a friend but too bad, nothing happened overall just got a drink from him. pretty sure there will be another time to chill. Been struggling with few things these days: study, ball and something shouldn't be tell. It's so frustrating to leave them behind without thinking them.

Anyway, had a normal mothers' day with mummy the other day. Out to get flowers with bro, dinner and gift to her. that's all. As people grow older, they don't even bother to get something special for mum. For my mum, she got herself a new purse just because it's mothers' day. oh well. such a big spender.

gonna stop here. assignments a head. :(

in the middle of the night.

2011-05-08T03:04:00.004+12:00

what else you can do when you're the only one who awake in the middle of the night rushing up all the assignments that are going to due real soon. :x look at the sleepy look i have in my face. Assignments are tiring. omfg. 800 words essay imma finish you tonight, let the battle begin you biatch!

omg, i needa wake up in the morning and walk to the flower shop and get some flowers for my dearest mum. someone please wake me up at 8 before is too late. :x

later, blog walkers! :)

ughh

2011-05-07T23:49:00.002+12:00

a random photo anyway.

i feel like you are not deserving me.

never mind, just tell me when you need me.

so tired of those wonders and thoughts that cross into my mind every night.

i dont know am i bothering you or even annoying you.

OH WELL. FUCK THIS SHITS!

something need to be confessed after awhile.

2011-05-05T20:59:00.001+12:00

assignments suck. -'-

it ruins my whole term2 and it just started. #$%^*&$^*#

Here come 11 weeks again.

2011-05-02T23:26:00.001+12:00

Uuu, love my photo? :)

Two weeks of holiday just ended and I just found out that I did nothing when there are three assignments are getting due on Friday yet I’m just blogging atm. So I was talking to a friend, she’s a friend that I never thought I would ever talk to again. We haven’t met for more than a year and twitter just make us closer and I feel so useless with what I’ve done. Guess what? So does she which not to say is a good thing but I’m just glad that like finally someone knows how I feel. OH WELL. Time is a silly thing, it’s just too silly. Maybe now is the time to organize all those mess that we messed up with.

ANYWAY, raining for like the whole weekend and today is not an exception. First day of school restart and I got new assessment to work on. These school craps are apparently killing my brain cells so badly. I just realized that I actually got more dumb and easier to get tired so damn lazy. Need to move on with these or else I will be ended up with slacking all day long. :x OMG, I can’t believe is May already. :( this is depressing.

Happy Birthday cousy, Denyse!

Happy Birthday dummy, James!

Happy Birthday stranger, Jack! :)

fy

2011-04-30T23:47:00.000+12:00

1/5000sec at f/3.8 , 22mm, ISO250

William was saying something that woke me up when I was depressing with myself just now. I have no idea how mature is he now. I’m now living with a mood of a triangle. It goes down, up and down.

p/s: take a real look at the photo. There’s a triangle! :)

hello blog-walkers. :)

2011-04-30T22:40:00.004+12:00

29^th of April, Friday.

It’s Friday, and guess people out there are appreciating tonight go to the town and have a wasted night. Umm, for me I went to karaoke instead of clubbing. Like finally I went to karaoke in this holiday was planning to go on the first week of holiday due to some problem yet no. :x after that went to Starbucks to have a hot drink hell yes, I’m always in love with coffee. :) white chocolate mocha or a chai latte, please. Anyway, got home around 11 Karen was here and planned to watch something so yea. First we chose Devil.

This movie is alright is not scary but it has a storyline but a really good one but average. :)

Ps: I hate that old lady at the last scene. She seems to be staring at you. ;X

After that around 1 past, we chose to watch ‘TheEcho’

I can say this movie is so damn scary. The first horror movie I got shocked by. While watching the movie you can’t think what will happen ‘cause of the voices that came from the movie and you cant make sure when will something pop out. HIGHLY RECOMMAND. :) Tucked myself in around 0430 and I’m so damn tired.

THE END OF FRIDAY NIGHT.

Remember in a few precious post, I’ve mentioned that imma go and watch Fast Five and hell yes. I watched it. I can say this movie is so damn good, among all of the previous FF. I prefer this so much more. A

MUST WATCH MOVIE OF 2011 but if you gonna watch it don’t forget wait till the credits went off. As the most important part of this episode is all after the credits. MUST NOT LEAVE THE HALL UNTIL THE MOVIE IS TOTALLY FINISH!!!! J

The smile.

2011-04-26T17:33:00.002+12:00

Sometimes, a smile can be fake but a smile that comes from the bottom of the heart is different. A person may not be perfectly pretty or hot but as the way he or she smiles. It actually means a lot. :)

p/s: I actually love my little brother’s smile. :x

keep it tight.

2011-04-25T01:04:00.002+12:00

我玩不起,可是我不想還沒嚐試就放棄這一切。

I wish you would know what’s in my mind.

I wish you care what’s in my mind.

I wish everything will be just fine.

I wish you care. I really wish you care.

A: So why didn’t you find your boyfriend?

B: I don’t know.

A: did you guys break up or something?

B: perhaps yes. You happy with it?

A: *speechless*

B: I actually wish I can have the chance to break up but no.

don't try to touch it.

2011-04-23T19:12:00.001+12:00

This thing hurt a lot. :x

Remember in the previous post, I said I have bruises and this is one of it.

It’s on my lap and it hurt so much. DAMN!

tired of being tired.

2011-04-23T00:59:00.000+12:00

I’m on energy saving mode these days.

My eyes just can’t stop closing when I was just trying to sit down and have a rest on the couch. My legs seem to be broken, every time I walk they just run out of control. My hands don’t really want to get my assignments out and try to figure them out. My brain is not working these days. Cough been with me for a week and I think it has stayed long enough anyway, just more than enough. Been into a grumpy mood today, I don’t know why. Sore throat, cough, sniff, tummy cramps and what else gonna come to me?

Time went without any notices.

2011-04-22T00:38:00.008+12:00

Saturday; 16^th of April.

First day of the holiday started also the day after CarmenPang watched Scream4. Before she watched it, I already craving for it as my sis actually watched the previous three Scream before.

This movie is not scary but is not cruel like how Saw does so yea is an average one. The story line is good just go to the cinema and grab a ticket you will know what happen in Scream! :) it actually worth to watch!

Monday; 18^th of April.

A night where I wish to go town ‘cause Bruno Mars is da town!!! A concert that I actually want to go but it’s just too late to regret for not going to there. Sis and her friends went, as in the previous post I have mentioned that imma go a road trip so Shally and Anton came and over night. Three of us in the house felt so boring then we decided to go BubbleTea. Caught up with Suz too. :) gone back home around 1. Lisa, PF were all in the house to overnight and prepare for the road trip!

Tuesday:19^th of April.

Woke up at 4, yes 4am in the morning to

take a bath. Prepare ourselves and tried to wake Karen through BBM was such a fun! So got out of the house around 6 to pick her up then off to have breakfast. The most common breakfast on a road trip is always McD. It was love and we saw sunshine overall.

On the way to Rotorua.

We went to bungy, swoop, sweep also luge. I got three bruises all over my right sides and there are the huge ones. :x it hurt so much when you just touch on it but it worth anyway!

Off to the motel around 5pm , rest then off to dinner. After dinner, people went to spa left shally and I in the motel due to some problems. Was suppose to have a chat with her but ended up with some sweet nap. The day was so long and awesome. :) They got back around 10 all we felt were tired and I slept so early that day.

Wednesdays; 20^th of April.

Woke up at 8, the second one who woke up and packed things up. Had our breakfast then checked out at 10. Went for a walk in the small town and time for a walk by the Rotorua lake.

Hamilton Garden, I love this place! :) is like a studio for photographers.

Thursday; 21^st of April.

Woke up around 10 which I slept at 4 last night and just exhausted. Anton, Shally, Carmen and I went for breakfast (yumcha). Then back home around 2, unpack things and upload photos on fb also the laziness dragged me around just so tiring. Was suppose to watch Fast&Furious 5 at 740pm but ended up with bad seats left behind so we changed our mind to Arthur casted by Russell Brand.

a comedy that actually has some meaning within ‘cause normally a comedy wouldn’t have any meaning hide in it whereas this has. I actually love Russell Brand and his accent. Oh dear. :) Get yourself prepared for the movies week! Fast&Furious 5, I’m coming to your.

as if they have never hurt your feeling before.

2011-04-21T17:17:00.003+12:00

I guess we ran out of things to talk about now.

:)

2011-04-18T16:23:00.001+12:00

So this post should be updated long time ago due to some laziness it’s been delayed. So the third day of holiday and I’ve nothing other than eat and sleep every single day. Been coughing like a mad dog for two days, I sound so man!!!! Any idea of getting rid of it? :(

Tuesday gonna have a road trip so do an assignment trip for my photography assignment. The assignment is about creating a scene which include event, persons and place and create a documentary. At first the first things cross into my mind was going to the beach and see how’s thing been change within one day but the teacher was saying it is not acceptable. So I changed my mind, since Carmen gonna have a road trip with her friends imma join her to do my assignment. :) Wish there will be lots of fun and good scene to take photos with. It’s been raining these days, the sign of weather changing. Please don’t rain tomorrow! :X

Cough, sniff, sore throat and what else gonna come to me? So damn annoying.

Ohh, did I tell you guys that sis got a Pandora that actually cost more than an iPad2 64gb with 3g+wifi? That’s like crazy ae. :X Pandora is actually the most recent jewelry I fall into. :) you can buy the beads you like with gold, diamond even colour beads are available. I’m pretty sure Malaysia sell them too. :) mum got one, Carmen got one so do I!

Carmen's.

Mine. :)

Ball, once in a lifetime.

2011-04-14T23:19:00.001+12:00

So it’s been a week since I last blogged. I always wanted to blog but when I’m half way till the end I just cancel everything off ‘cause sometimes things should be stayed unsay. Anyway, dad was here for 12 days and he left on Tuesday night. I kinda miss him to wake me up with *wakey! wakey!* in the morning just to say “I will just fetch you guys to school.” :) Oh well, 12 days and time just flew away.

Before dad left, we had a road trip to 90 miles beach, Kaitaia and umm Waitangi I suppose. On the trip all I can feel is excitement also my butt cramps due to the hours that I’ve sat in the new car. Oh yeap, the Tan’s got a ‘new’ car, Alphard V. Dad always what a car with 7 seats like finally we’ve got that which is even better. (eight seats) I skipped 2 days of school due to the tiredness I got from the trip and those undone work from school so called college.

Three assignments are introduced at the same time and due almost the same time. Then an English assessment is now on the way to get into. Fuck school life, holiday is just the day after tomorrow within two weeks HEAPS of work should be done and I wish I could just get over it easily. Nowadays, school’s trend is all about the 6^th form ball. BALL? All I can think about are dresses, make up, alcohol, partners and using money to make yourself look good just in that night. Within that thoughts I just can accept ALCOHOL and money to make myself looks better but not on that night. Dresses are not my thing and make up is way more worse than I’ve imagined. Eww, how can I change within a night with dresses on and those thick make ups. Well, I actually hope I can get the invitation when I’m still allow to wag like how I used to. For the first term I got like 91% attendance which is just enough but term 2 is the main point. As I’ve skipped two days and planned to wag on the last few periods so yea Imma have low attendance rate this time. :x

Oh dear, please just don’t wake me up in the middle of the night. Allow me to sleep the memories away. Thought of telling you the truth but nah. Things will be different when the truth is out of my mind.

2011-04-07T20:13:00.000+12:00

“It sucks when you miss that person so much that you look through old photos, old text messages, even old statuses. And it just brings a smile to your face, but then the hurt comes back and you know you shouldn’t be looking back, but you can’t help it because they really meant something to you and you thought it would of lasted.” – unknown.

fuck you.

2011-04-05T22:39:00.003+12:00

fuck you. you suck a lot. why dont you get out of my life? i dont want this anymore. just get the hell off from here. to be honest, i dont read mind i dont know what is in your mind and what you feel on certain things or people. fucking grumpy these days. wish i never care that much. no i cant. things happened and i always fucked things up. i understand what went through my mind was real but the thing i saw was also real. oh my fucking god. i hate this part right here. somebody please pass me a blade. perhaps a plain book will do. tell me if you want me, i am tired of waiting here like i'm a nut trying to wish miracles to happen. this sucks and it hurts a lot. just fuck you all.

sometimes people make you fall for them and they let them stay in your heart but they just like to beat it up. no, you dont know how it actually feels. i cant tell you what it is but just the feelings. wishing things will change for sometimes but no. it wouldnt until you make a change. where the fuck when i needed you. you never ask, never want and never tell. just fuck you.

terrify.

2011-04-04T22:52:00.002+12:00

Suppose to be doing work but I just cant give a damn with it. There are more assignments due, internal in progress and also test coming up. There will be one day when I cannot take these shits anymore I will just cut myself into pieces and see what will happen. So dad is here with uncle Loo on last Friday. Quan and her family were here too, we shopping a day without resting and also we chat all night without realizing what time was it. So in total two days I slept for 8 hours, perhaps less than 8 hours. They went back on Sunday and I started to miss them. I miss sleeping on the coach with her and Hoe sleeping on the floor when there’s a sofa bed prepared for him in the study room. Oh well, that guy bought 7 pairs of sunglasses which is CRAZY and also some random stuff. Quan bought the same purse as me and she loves it although somebody was nagging because it doesn’t suit us at all. Photos will be uploaded soon.

I’ve been eating, sleeping and chilling during the weekend and I never touched any of my work yet I’m going to rush them tonight. So damn tired. Friday might take a day off to upper north cause dad is here there will be some personal *public holiday*. Oh well, shouldn’t have planned to skip school. There will be test on Friday and assignment due in also an essay. Omg. Everything is due on Friday I hate this. Any other way to release these stress? More time to sleep maybe it’s never enough. Anyway, I have used up my free text and calls. I have no idea how am I going to survive after these days. :(

A random photo from my assignment, it’s always black and white.

wtf, am i thinking.

2011-04-04T22:47:00.000+12:00

I used to tell a guy to stop drinking cause I suppose it only stop you from thinking, forgetting and relaxing temporally but now I’m like agreeing with what he used to tell me. Drinking help to forget for a moment better than nothing. There are times when you have no idea how to release certain thing, drinking is a way. I have no idea why I think of that but seriously, it actually help a lot. Thanks to the family I love drinking and I wonder when will be the next time. Maybe when dad is back to msia. :D

重伤

2011-03-28T23:36:00.001+13:00

People feel and you can’t figure them out unless they allow you to feel them. People don’t read mind, they don’t know what go through your mind but they just always wish they could. So yea..

重伤-林凡

就让记忆回到那天的那个梦

Jiu rang ji yi hui dao na tian de na ge meng

再活一遍那段过去的两分钟

Zai huo yi bian na duan guo qu de liang fen zhong

一个人低头一个人祈求太空洞

Yi ge ren di tou yi ge ren qi qiu tai kong dong

我还不相信我不相信连梦都是空

Wo hai bu xiang xin wo bu xiang xin lian meng dou shi kong

[Chorus]

爱那么伤伤那么重

Ai na me shang shang na me zhong

我不想我不懂

Wo bu xiang wo bu dong

天那么蓝心那么痛我承受

Tian na me lan xin na me tong wo cheng shou

你那么走走那么久

Ni na me zou zou na me jiu

走遍放纵的自由

Zou bian fang zong de zi you

梦那么长手那么空谁在乎

Meng na me chang shou na me kong shui zai hu

你会不会放下这负累自由飞

Ni hui bu hui fang xia zhe fu lei zi you fei

走了不要追周围呼吸都不对无所谓

Zou le bu yao zhui zhou wei hu xi dou bu dui wu suo wei

一个人低头一个祈求太沉重

Yi ge ren di tou yi ge qi qiu tai chen zhong

我还要答案我还要习惯好困难

Wo hai yao da an wo hai yao xi guan hao kun nan

Repeat Chorus

爱那么伤那么久我不懂

Ai na me shang na me jiu wo bu dong

心那么冷那么痛我承受

Xin na me leng na me tong wo cheng shou

Sorry, I don’t read mind. I don’t know when are you telling the truth or telling lies. I don’t know how you feel and I never know what you are trying to say. If you really want me tell me I don’t want to sit here and waiting like a fool trying to guess what’s in your mind. I’m tired of figuring you out and think everything will be alright after a period of time. And is obvious that you know it hurts and this is tiring. I hate myself for thinking so much and I have no idea how to tell you these. I hate this and I hate everything. I just fucked up my day as always.

2011-03-27T01:41:00.000+13:00

Guess he doesn’t need me anymore.

The week.

2011-03-27T00:09:00.005+13:00

Today seems to be like Friday to me. The day is just so long that I found out that I didn’t actually do many things. Oh well, let’s talk about the whole week.

Monday(210311)

Absent. Due to some medical problem the whole fucking day and it hurts so damn much. Nobody actually give a fuck on it. Rushed my English essay, 7 paragraphs that kinda mean for me. After writing it I just realize my English is getting worse these days. Fml.

Wednesday (230311)

I walked to McDonald with Julie after school ‘cause I was frustrating with something about somebody so yea. We shared things not that much as how we used to do but it was alright, I suppose. Walked back home around 5 and I’m totally exhausted overall. I rushed my economic works and another essay for English also sociology’s. OMFG, everyday doing the same thing I just feel like killing myself.

Friday(250311)

Rained for the whole freakin day and I walked home. It’s lucky that one of the new student willing to shared an umbrella with me to flag pole or else I will be like all wet. Saw Nicole and we both borrowed Elaine’s umbrella just to walk up to Windsor Park and I waited for her parent to pick her up yet I got a ride instead of walking home with the rainy weather without my sweater. Yeap, my sweater is not with me for the whole day and I was freezing in math class with the windows wide opened. Omfg. Anyway, got home and I found out there’s a missed call. Guess who? The love ones are here- Baby Quan and hoe. So I had dinner with the Birthday girl, Fiona. Some photos at the restaurant.

Then I picked two of them from city. Yes, I sat on the bus alone to city trying to be awake then picked them up and go back to Constellation Drive again. Anyway, I went to city with a flip flop while it was raining and with my *raincoat*. On the way back home, we chat, we camwhore, we laugh, we sing out loud. Yes, we did what we will do in Msia. That is just so a memorable memories. I miss both of them so much that I cant even say a word out of it. Carmen picked us up from the bus stop and went to fetch Anton. They were suppose to go clubbing but thanks to the weather it’s been canceled so they were all at my place trying to have fun with shots just like what we used to do. :)

umm. SENIOR

Junior?

the special shot made by Anton for the birthday girl.

I LOVE THIS. :)

Karen, Lisa, Jason, Anton, Fiona, Nicole, Lydia and Belinda were all there. Including me, quan and ron. Trying to enjoy those shots while we were playing ‘pyramid’. I actually love pyramid game and it actually helps you finish up the alcohol pretty quickly. I played for the 3^rd round which is the round when ron, me and quan were there. After that round, somebody ran off (Anton & Ron) they went to catch some rest and left us. Another round is on and the second last 3 shots was mine and I’m all like wtf but the last shots which is equal to two shots go to Jason! Then sis bought Fiona, Nicole, Lydia and Belinda home with Karen’s companied then we have a break where people went to get food! Yet, Quan went to get some pure Midori shot kinda harsh ay. I was like O.O and she was like this is nice weih! :)

After the meal, we rest on the couch in the living room and I remember what I did with Lisa and Anton. We sang so damn loud and video are up on facebook (privately) , there are three. One is Long Distance, second one is ‘I love you, You love me’ then the last one is ‘Bob Bob Baby’ all of them are with Anton. Lisa and I were in two of them. After that we rushed upstairs and trying to wake Ron up because he went to William’s room quietly trying to have a long nap ‘cause they are going to wake up at 5 on the next day when is like 12 when he’s trying to tuck himself in the bed.

So the whole night is just a mess, I cant actually remember what I did in William’s room but I remembered that I gossiped with Quan and sis was saying that we gonna walk to McD and chill for the whole night yet I slept in Carmen’s room while they were fetching Anton home. When they are back home, nobody is willing to go McD so we just decided to sleep at 2.

Alarm rang at 5 and it’s Saturday already. Woke quan up to get a shower so do Ron and I followed mum fetch them back to city and it’s been a long day. I got home at nearly 8 and I sleep again until 9 I’m half awake due to some problem and I have no idea what was it and I sleep again. Totally sober at 11 while Carmen and Lisa were awake and play with Fluffy. :) Then Carmen fetched Lisa to the bus stop and let her go to St.Luke ‘cause of her job. Left me, Karen and Carmen. Umm, did I mention Jason? So he went home in the morning and I have no idea what time was it. Anyway, then we went to BrownsBay to have our brunch at 1 after that we went to AlbanyMall. Just to have a walk and bought nothing but heard a lot of things.

TO BE CONTINUE.

this weekend aint that bad.

2011-03-20T23:39:00.005+13:00

THIS POST IS SUPER LONG. :X

This weekend was pretty awesome.

Saturday, woke up and deal with my photography assignment for an hour. In a sudden, sis and mum were discussing going New Market to get something from Smith&Caughey so yea we went there around 1. Parking is always a problem in Auckland is so damn annoying to look for parking so we used about half an hour just to look for a car park. Anyway, then we three of us went to look for our ‘breakfast’ which is our brunch. Finding something else to eat while mum was the one saying she doesn’t want to eat ‘dim sum’ but at last when there’s an option between sushi and ‘dim sum’ she decided with ‘dim sum’ such a weirdo. So had our brunch in Pearl Garden Restaurant, it wasn’t that bad but the service suck ttm. Before brunch, Carmen got what she wants in Smith&Caughey and it’s just a cleansing solution.

So after the brunch, we went to shopping. Hell yes, I haven’t shopping for like more than 2 weeks that feeling suck a lot. Was planning to go Qubic and ask about the bow addidas original shoe but there are on renovation or something so I didn’t get to go there. SO DAMN SAD! Walked around the street and found nothing to buy but when we got into WestfiledMall. We saw CountryRoad on sales and mum bought a top at there besides I saw a purse which I wanted to have one for like so damn long. Yet mum still doesn’t allow me to get it then off into another shop. HELL YES! MARS is another option to be my new purse.

See see see! My new purse! I wasn’t getting this purse until I found out it’s kinda useless cause I never like to put my cash into the pocket in my purse so this is like throwing the change into it and *clip* is all in the purse. A girlish purse for me and I know it’s kinda weird to see me using a purse like this.

Other than that, bags are all on 30% sales. Fuck yes, I got this. Was suppose to get a black one but Carmen was saying im too young to get the black one cause is too mature and looks classy lil bit so change my mind to this. J pretty awesome for me. Two items less than 200NZ, peeps.

Then off to Dotti and I bought this. I’m loving this shirt more and more when I look at it.

Then sis went to ForeverNew and she got a skirt. Looking awesome with it and SALES are on these days. Omg, I feel like getting new sandals, sneakers and some new clothes. These are not enough. :X

Around 4 or 5, mum was nagging to go home ‘cause of her darling son at home. When we got home, we saw William’s friends like OMG. Include him is four of them facing the computer and the PS3 like seriously _|_

Then went to finish my photography assignment like finally. Task 1 is done and now task 2 is driving me crazy I have no idea what to take in black and white. 45 photos needa hand in before the term ends. Anyway after that Carmen and I went to help mum for dinner cause James and his family is here to have dinner together. Right after we finished our dinner Carmen came out with an idea of being survive when earthquake comes to attack Auckland. LIKE OMFG. Due to some problem I helped her to wash every bottle we have in the house and trying to pack the dry food.

Check these out.

trying to get as much water as we can. you can survive for at least seven days if you have water.

Some dry food but seriously don’t take Campbell soup as an option. :x

Seven bottles of water.

Beside food and water, prepare a jacket to get yourself warmth.

END FOR SATURDAY.

___________________________________________________

So while I was sleeping I got somebody’s call and it actually wakes me up. He was saying something and I cant actually listen what he was saying. All I answered was “oh” , “yea” and “okay” still he continue his talk and trying to say I will call you again later. I’m like all goods with it and I don’t know why. The second call woke me up too and the same reaction I have as the first called. I wasn’t being sarcastic but actually I cant listen to what he told me. Umm, kinda sorry about that tho. I have no idea did he realize that or not but I was half awake only. So sorry about that.

_______________________________________________________

SUNDAY.

Anyway, woke up at 9 and saw Whatsapp is with three reply like wtf ‘cause mum woke me up to accompany her to FreeMarket but I rejected her. It’s kinda bad to reject my mum. Somehow, I know my mum will always allow me to do so I suppose. So went back to sleep until 11 I was just TOTALLY awake. Thank god I caught enough sleep at last. So I spent the Sunday morning and afternoon at home watching drama and tumblr. Then I asked Carmen for a coffee and she willing to drive me to Starbucks. Hell yes, I tried the new Cocoa Cappuccino and it was super awesome. :) (ohh, do you guys know Starbuck is with the new logo?) before that, we went to Pak N Save to get some ingredients for tomorrow’s dinner due to some problem mum is not cooking for us tomorrow. Then some snack for us the first time to bake some cookie and fuck yea.

WE DID NOT MAKE IT WORK. Actually it was all my fault, I put 250grams of coca power instead of 25grams and the result came out with this. Pretty awesome ay?

Then mum came back from her friend’s place to get us out for dinner. Went to Wairau Park. Samurai Kitchen Restaurant, Japanese food for Sunday’s dinner I’m so lucky to have this family. :)

FINALLY. I’m done with this post.

nvm, just tired.

2011-03-20T22:40:00.003+13:00

Recently, I been into these situation.

I'M FUCKING TIRED

· I’m tired of losing friends.

· I’m tired of fighting.

· I’m tired of being lied to.

· I’m tired of drama.

· I’m tired of crying.

· I’m tired of never being happy.

· I’m tired of trying so hard, and have it be one sided.

· I’m tired of being bitter.

· I’m tired of being used.

· I’m tired of not sleeping.

· I’m tired of missing people.

· I’m tired of hiding my feelings.

· I’m tired of missing you.

· I’m tired of trying.

· I’m tired of being tired.

sometimes, it helps.

2011-03-20T22:19:00.002+13:00

Keep you in the dark you know they all pretend.

2011-03-13T23:46:00.001+13:00

We want to get drunk tonight so badly. So now I know why people like to get themselves drunk.

I fucked up everything.

I am so lost. I am so scared for my future. :(

2011-03-13T23:42:00.001+13:00

The end of week six. I need some break, a real break no matter how long is it. I just need a break needa get some fresh air and get rid of these problems that bother me all the time. I kinda hate how time flies nowadays, when I was young I always wish to have a teenage life but when you’re in it you feel like turning back the time. So you can just don’t give a damn with anything that are happening now. So this year, friends is not a problem for me anymore but then the world is like giving me a mission. Work hard in school and assignments. Level 2 in NCEA, I am so gonna kill myself and these things are actually annoying me. All I feel now is, why I cant be how I used to be. Go to the principle room once a week just like last time, get community service with the buddies and hearing ‘Jessie come out!’ after the assembly in the morning. Oh well, that was my best school life ever yet now it is like not anymore. We grow up, we think differently and we’ve been placed in the different part of the world. This is just life. We cant stick to the same peers as always. It’s not to say that having a lot of friends is not a good thing but it’s just kinda hard to define who are the ones who really care for you when things happened.

Oh well, life still goes on no matter what happen. Earthquake, tsunami all those natural disaster are just annoying. Nobody wants you to be here just go away from the earth maybe you should just move to moon or something.

Apparently, I’ve been into this situation over three days and nothing actually goes right. FML.

fucking unfortunate experience.

2011-03-06T00:11:00.001+13:00

The worst experience ever. Seriously, you would be laughing fucking loud after seeing this post. So just now around like 11 at night. I was preparing to go and get a bath then off to bed. While I’m taking bath, the whole neighborhood’s electricity ran out which mean I was in the middle of the bath and you cant even see a thing. I FCKING HATE THAT and at that moment when your parent is not at home and only left yourself with a homestay. OMFG, you know what I was washing my hair and all shampoo all around my head and face. It’s just lucky that it wasn’t running out of water or else I will be FUCK THE WORLD. Anyway, so I ran downstairs and check out the power only with my towel on. LIKE WTF. The electricity ran out for half an hour which mean I was in a situation of nowhere. All you can do is using cold water to wash your head and trying to dry it up and now Mr. headache comes and visit me. Don’t even do that if you have a chance to know that there will be electricity running out. OMG. Why am I sharing this, I’m fucking pissed at the moment.

!@#$%^&*()QWERTYUIOP !@#$%^&*

FUCK THE DOUCHE BAGS!!!!

a short week but a long day.

2011-03-05T00:44:00.002+13:00

One of my assignment’s photo.

Thank God, today is Friday. :) Finally, week 5 is coming till the end which mean more internals are coming up and assignments are nearly due. Oh well, I just handed in my first assignment of Art History just in time today. I thought I’ve done it like in an just achieve level ‘cause today I saw their essays are like 2000 words and my eyes were wide opened! 2000words when it only require 600 words, that’s kinda too over I suppose. Friday is always tiring with day 4’s timetable which is double economics then English for last. That’s just suffer to do English at the last period and it’s not in reading room. *DISASTER!* So I’ve done my English internal on Wednesday and it was alright for the first paper and the second one I’m like doing nothing! Yes, I’m so gonna fail for the second paper. Although, the paper was filled full but there were just craps and I have no idea what I actually wrote for it. Never mind, will just try not to think of it although there are re-sits for the test in two weeks time.

Oh, I got back my photography assignment and guess what I got just achieve for overall. For the first task was Merit, kinda happy when I saw the first task’s result but then the second and last were like bullshit. Not to give any excuse but blame myself. I fucking hate the feeling when you thought you can do it but you just never take the chance for that certain thing you believe in. ftw just because the feeling. I just hate it. So things been messed up as always for the whole week and hell yeah tiring! :( Another assignment of photography is here and FML! I’m so wanna get over it like please. The other subjects were totally alright except for economics. Oh gosh, I don’t get a thing about it. About the GDP and some kinda growth in NZ which I don’t really give damn on it actually is important. Hope I can actually change my subject. It’s like gaining stress from every lil bit from school and then assignments that are due at the end of term which is really fast.

I hate my school life. I hope I can just live in my dream and never wake up again. Maybe someday I will just wake up and there’s no such work allow me to do. A relaxing life will be just fine for me. As the other day, there is an earthquake in NewZealand, Christchurch and people died, lost the homes and lost the educations. Then I heard that there will be one coming up to Auckland in like 2 or 3 months time ‘cause there was one in Wellington and everyone was like getting emergency kits, drinks and food also shelter. Oh dear, I’m gonna be dead soon. :/

So the other day, I was kinda like grumpy for the whole day for no reason then got a text from a storyteller. Yeah, that guy is a really good storyteller sent me a photo and that actually can make you smile. Will update more about it someday. Not in blogspot tho.

Apparently, I didn’t run out of MBs for my phone. :) at least, there is one entertainment for me. Yea, I was chatting with Selina about iPad2 and hell no. I want it like wth. I never want an iPad but now I want an iPad2. Haha perhaps, I will just wait for BlackBerry PlayBook it might be way better. Oh, if you guys add my sister in facebook. You would realize that my house gonna have a pet soon. Drop by her profile and have a look. According to her information, we gonna get a sheep dog by next week and dad allows us to keep it which is just incredible. I love my family bits and pieces. <3

Another favorite of mine in the assignment.

lalala.

2011-02-28T22:16:00.001+13:00

Finally, 3 of one assignments is done. Art History I left 2 paragraph which is really hard to compare about and economics’ i don’t know what it is anyway. So I chatted with the girl who had her birthday few weeks ago and she is just tough enough to face those problems. Also thanks to her boy who likes to do unnecessary things in a bad situation and that’s boy. He helps a lot and also hurt a lot whereas somebody just cant let go the past and move on like how a 17 years old does. English internal continues tomorrow until Thursday and OMFG. I don’t get what is the poem taking about am so gonna lose those 4 credits. L

Anyway apparently I’ve learned a new word from tumblr. Oh dear, I love tumblr. It tells everything that’s in my mind and the situation that I always have so do drop by the link is at the right column. J

the night of awesomeness.

2011-02-27T16:52:00.005+13:00

Saturday the 26^th of Feb.

Woke up and rush to wash up the photos for my photography assignment at TheWareHouse and guess what. I spent 1 hour there and I get nothing due to some freak problems then I rush back home to transfer some file then off to Albany just to wash 10 photos and it used a lot of patrol just to rush few places. Before go to Albany, Carmen picked up Karen’s birthday cake and it looks freakin’ awesome. If you’re on twitter you would see that leopard prints cake. Anyway, then off to Albany mall to make sure that my mobile network it working then went to get the birthday a present from Glasson and hell yeah. I finally got the jeans I want and it looks freakin’ awesome. :)

Then rush back home cause the people are at home making themselves look as good as they could just to party at karaoke tonight. I got myself ready and thanks to my mum for driving us to the bus-stop when she already hurt her back by climbing up to the peach tree at the garden. Then cam whore awhile at the bus stop with the Polaroid and my camera. Like omg, I love Shally’s new camera I cant stop being a cam whore with her camera is just too awesome to have it I suppose it is better than Quan’s . hehe

waiting at the bus-stop.

on the way to city.

the women!

I LOVE THIS PHOTO!

Welcome to auckland. :)

So we cam whore on the way to there reach around 10 to six I suppose? Then went into there we started our singing sessions. We did something crazy and yes totally crazy. We sang three times broken-hearted girl by Beyonce and 4 times A.I.N.Y by G.E.M. we are just crazy to these songs. At the half way Lisa came and join the night!

We are just crazy about singing then about 10 we took a bus back home around 1030 then got home around 11. I had a bath and the women just chilling around and prepare for SHOTS!

Alcohol all by Shally that crazy woman!

When the time nearly come to 12 Carmen actually asked me and Lisa to lock Karen up in her room and trying to make her take weird photos. Then when it’s 12, she been ordered to go to the dining room and yes the leopard cake pop out and so do her tears. :)

hugy hugs.

THE CRAZY BITCH.

:) Had the awesome supper time with the cake then playing games just to make the birthday girl drunk but so do us. *not us it’s just me, lisa and Karen* Shally and Carmen never get drunk and I don’t know why. I know we did something really retarded after the alcohol and all photos are with Shally so is better ask her not to upload.

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS.

look at this drunk woman.

Last night was just awesome!

Once again,

Happy 20^th Birthday, KAREN!

Hope you had a great night last night. J

Just.. um.. scared of being alone.

2011-02-26T00:21:00.003+13:00

Confessions.

32557.) I want a break from everything

32573.) I want to get over you so bad. That’s all I ever wish for. This pain is too much.

32591.) I can’t even live my life because I’m so caught up in the fantasies in my head.

32574.) I’m terrified that I’M going to be the one to screw things up; even though everyone’s expecting you to.

32560.) I see your fake smiles. I’m wearing the same one.

tiring weekend.

2011-02-25T23:53:00.002+13:00

Those assignments are driving me insane. Two pages more then I’m done with my Art History. Thought I will have a time to catch some fresh air yet I don’t have one. After this I got photography assignment which is due on Monday and I haven’t even washed out the photos yet. Oh well, tomorrow might the time to touch up these photos.

People out there might say that TGIF but for me, Friday make me work like a mad cow. Got so freakin’ tired with the work and the coming internal although I have just finished my math test then Monday gonna sit English internal for four days which actually killing me inside with those freak techniques and some kinda shit like that. Other than that, 2 essays from Sociology class today and due on Monday again. Somebody mind helping me with writing essays? One of the essay topic is kinda weird for me which is for you to rewrite the story of sleeping beauty using different gender roles. Also mean that sleeping beauty also can be a guy perhaps a sleeping beast yet I have no idea how to rewrite about that. Oh gosh, anyway idea for that? Besides that, economics scrapbook I don’t even know what is this about the teacher explain to me twice and I still don’t get what to do. Maybe am just too stupid to understand what he actually trying to tell me.

I am craving for more time to get through these. It does annoy sometimes. Will update my photography class’s photo soon. :) stay tune ,peeps.

Six of the second best is here.

Nobody realize how thing has changed into.

Maybe I just care too much.

here it comes.

2011-02-23T17:07:00.001+13:00

Soon it’s gonna leave me like how it used to.

Been busy for the whole days like wtf. So went to the city yesterday because of the PPTA thingy so yea got off school earlier. Seriously, I did not have fun yet facing the books in Whitcouls, actually make me thought of my assignments so I went home earlier. Saw people wearing mufti to uni, oh well. A long way to go!

Talk about the school days, two words to describe. BUSY & TIRED. I got an assignment from photography last week which is due next Monday and I only shot 4 photos overall. Then today Mr.B just gave us another assessment like DAMN. Am not finish with the last one yet. :( Then now needa rush my Art History assessments and Friday is the check point which is just driving me crazy. I know I am suppose to be doing my assignments but no. I cant concentrate with it anymore.. Economics scrapbook, what the hell is that? With a presentations. Fml! Somehow, sociology was alright and I have finish the 700words essay that been issued last week. So what else, damn math and English test and internal are coming up. DAMN!!!! I hate schooling now.

Wish I don’t need to worry about these. Hope everything will be alright. Force myself to get into it. Try my best not to forget who am I. Wait for the best thing to come to me. Oh well, I just don’t know why am I not into a mood that how I used to have. Asking myself to chill yet just cant. Those things actually bother me so much. I just hate how I feel and no one and understand it.

No matter what happen I will try to be your entertainer and that was me.

#815

2011-02-17T19:41:00.002+13:00

Wonders how life have been to him, her and them. Oh well, it's only the third week of school i already stress out. LIKE SERIOUSLY. i had economics test then assessments come to me. *screwwww* eng got essays, sociology with 500 words then now art history with three tasks. damn this year! gonna be busy ass. So yea, about the mathematic i just umm, trying to get over it.

So about today, went to city with the school 'cause of the sculptures at there. Going through them and walking through them and realizing where are they. wow, that was mean as. :( So about the things nowadays. Somebody's birthday is coming. Been through 'v' day alone w/ the freak mood. going through things w/ the grumpy mood and now blogging mood when there are tons of works right beside me.

About this post. I am craving for a Havaianas Top Mix. BAM! They look super awesome yet pretty expensive aye. The new collections of them, so not going to get them unless i actually earn more money through some kind of shit or blogging? Oh well,

Looking at the three colours of it. I actually want the orange one where they show in the official website in Msia. Gonna search for it!

I still haven't got my sim card yet! damn, needa subscribe it real soon so my phone wouldn't be like a music player only. Anyway, this week i been through some kind of little things w/ my love one. yes, the dingy!

I said No regrets just love.

she said no regrets no love.

she gave me an example which i actually went like OMG, that's true.

So that's all i suppose. gonna off to do some kind of homeworks and take bath.

2011-02-14T22:41:00.003+13:00

yeap, one day she will disappear and see who are the ones actually care.

here's a question.

2011-02-13T19:24:00.000+13:00

A ‘V’ day question.

What you can get for you girlfriend/boyfriend on Valentine’s day?

Other than a couple shirt, bracelet, necklace, rings, or shoes.

Something that can be wear on, anyone?

we are now far apart.

2011-02-12T00:54:00.001+13:00

When you don't reply back

Many things run through my mind…

· - What did I do?

· - Damn I fucked up!

· - Did I scare you away?

· - Wow fuck my life.

· - Fine, don’t talk to me anymore.

· - Why don’t you wanna talk to me anymore?

· -I miss you so much.

· -Please talk to me again.

· -Please reply back.

· -God, This sucks.

-please come back…

this is random but thoughts.

2011-02-10T17:30:00.002+13:00

I ruined all the things and now I don’t know how I feel anymore. Everything fall apart and I am now trying to put ‘em into how it used to look like. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life.

Perhaps, we spent too much time wondering why we are not good enough.

I wish my wishes would come true. I wish I did not say no. I wish my parent will never die. I wish there’s no education. I wish there is not uni. I wish my life wouldn’t be so complicated. I wish I am skinny. I wish I can get what I want. I wish I am smart to get through these things easily. I wish I am sociable. I wish there’s no gap between me and you. I wish you would say hey. I wish things will go smoothly. I wish you will help me. I wish you are here. I wish you tell me everything. I wish there is no doubt. I wish I’m not a replacement. There are too many wishes. Oh well.

The last question for you.

emssimneveuoyod?

about a traditional event.

2011-02-10T17:10:00.001+13:00

Chinese New Year.

It’s always about food, drinks, lanterns and also RED. :) There is no such thing as Chinese New Year in here and I don’t really have a mood for saying happy new year babe. If I’m in Msia I would just smiling all the time trying go visit every single relatives I have. Too bad, I’m in nz now and I wish to gamble, eat, drink and taking photos of them.

Anyway, today is ‘cho 8’ (the 8^th of cny). As a Hokkien, I should be at home and busy prepare with ‘bai tian gong’ which is a big ceremony to say thanks to god, I suppose. Yet I’m here facing the computer and the books from school and kept yawning for certain reasons and wishing I could celebrate CNY next year. :(

Somehow, Happy Chinese New Year people!

it's only the first week. :(

2011-02-10T16:29:00.001+13:00

It’s Thursday already. I’ve came back from MY for 4 days already. This week seems to be long like really long. I was wishing it to go faster so I could actually catch a breath from school. School is driving crazy with those subjects. Economics, Sociology, English, Mathematics External, Photography and Art History. These are nearly a brand new subjects for me. I’ve got ‘friends’ in the class, yea at least got some. I just realize that I actually chose subject which are all about essays. Eco you needa write a lot, sociology the perspective, English ESSAYS, math theory, photography those assignment that am gonna face and art history to write the theme of a French’s artwork.

Oh well, it’s too late for me to change subjects by now. Perhaps, if I have a chance still I don’t know what to choose either. So I was sitting a great seat with Jinny in Sociology class and now the freakin’ teacher just change our seats because this is a new unit. According to her sociology class is about people communicating but now it doesn’t work to me at all. Damn that freak.

So about math, the teacher mentioned to us that if you can actually catch up do not learn math external. Perhaps, she was just talking to me. I couldn’t catch up until today Julie taught me the parabola and the cubic. Really glad that she used up her lunch time on me with numbers on her mind. So I might not giving up on math external. Need to be fighting through the problems that I am having, at this moment. It’s a must.

Due to the laptop been formatted I do not have any photos to upload and do not have any songs to recommend. So yea, this will be a wordy blog for some time.

2011-02-09T18:04:00.003+13:00

up in the air.

2011-01-31T06:52:00.002+13:00

The last day of January of twenty eleven. I had memories within this month and I started to miss it already. Leaving real soon. I’m terrify for going back facing the books, school, people everyday. I’m regret with what I’ve chosen for the courses that I am taking but it’s too late to change it. There’s only two compulsory subjects that stay the same 4 others have changed. Thought of taking accounting back and geog back but too late. I chose eco which I never studied before a brand new subject. Art History, saying easy but it needs to be catch up. Human never get what they always wanted just never. School, this is a huge school which would be easy to meet new people but to be honest. To meet the people that you really wanna be close with it’s hard. I met people but never get close with people. I admit that, am not sociable enough to meet these people and asking them and telling them jokes like how my sis did last time. Saying hi and bye it’s just …

Just speechless with it, about people in school just no word to describe. So the coming Saturday, I will be going back and meeting this place and saying hi and bye all the time. Being alone at home, trying to work hard with my NCEA level 2 this year. Try to score more credits for the coming year and try to get into the uni I want, the subjects I want and meeting the people I want. This is just hard. I hate how my family asking me ‘don’t you want friends?’. After this question I will just fake a smile and saying I have but just not too close to chat. I answered the same thing every single time. I have no more answer for this question. Not anymore.

Having the time with the love ones on twitter. Saying goodbye, and it makes me feel like am not gonna be back anymore. Oh girls, I miss you guys. L I wish there’s no such word as distance. I will just go through all this pain and make my day like it’s a brand new day. No more going back to the memories and trying to get it back. :X

Why does everything have to be so complicated?

Dream big and high. There’s no such word as limit in my dictionary. I am now trying to cut of disappointment in the dictionary now like if I could. :)

ffked the hangout. :(

2011-01-31T06:33:00.002+13:00

The hangout.

30rd of January, I received an invitation by the boss the day before. I was so excited that, this could be the last hang out and it’s a hangout that I ever wanted to go yet I ffk-ed. I wasn’t being happy like what I actually wanted to happy. ‘cause this hangout would actually be the last hangout that I gonna have with them. Pei, wei, kh, cw, david and some boys. Oh well, too bad I just ffk straight after. I was suppose to get out of the house at 1 but dad came back late and pick us up at 3 and off to ampang to send something then off to kepong again. First, I was saying I must go to the hangout to myself but things changed at the last minute. Dad brought the whole family out and for no way that am gonna say that I wanna join the buddies. That’s just so wtf. Somehow, I ditched them when my dad is also heading to pv at the same time.

Like seriously, this is the hangout that I ever wanted but I just ditched them. Not depress but just cant get over myself with these matters. anyway, I met a lot of people in Pavilion. First, the AWESOME retarded son, How J-Sern. I didn’t know I have a time to meet him one day like wtf. Then, we met YeeCher, aunty Sharon and a singer(dontknowwhat’sthename). Bought nothing but had the RM600 dinner at Kampachi. Was super full until the dessert it’s not into my stomach. ;( Off back home around 10. Rush to watch OneMillionStar. At least, we didn’t miss the time that JessLeeJiaWei sings. She was just AWESOME, the Malaysian that make me feel so proud. J

The second part of the contest.

Carmen was saying if she didn’t win this competition she will just throw shit in Taiwan.

Luckily she won. J

27th of Jan w/ the couple Hui(S).

2011-01-28T05:40:00.004+13:00

The day starts with a rain.

Woke up in the morning, kept yawning for no reason. I was suppose to go to hospital today but too bad we missed the appointment time. It was at 1145 and we thought it’s at 1445. So we booked tomorrow for check up. Somehow, we went out for breakfast and it rained. Thought today would be lil bit windy and not so sunny but it just rained.

Then back home and drop grandma home. O well, after daddy telling me that they are so many people dying outside and I got an infection from ‘GreatDay’. I wish my grandparent are healthy and being happy all the time. No doubt, although they are kinda annoy sometimes yet I miss them like how I miss the others. ;(

Anyway, then off to aunty debby’s shop and waste sometime when it’s only one around that time. I wrote a letter for her like seriously I haven’t been writing letters for like more than a year. I miss having homeworks from SM. Those were memories. Around 3 off to Quan’s palce, saw HngHng and Joe also ah yi. We played Joe’s iPhone for half an hour then the princess just go to bath. I almost forgot how long that princess would take for a bath but it’s too late. We wait her until 5 then off to MidValley. As all Malaysians know that time it’s the jam time so we slept and left the boss drive with Khalil Fong’s songs playing on and on. ;) We arrive there about half an hour. (I can actually get home by now and then) So we parked in TheGarden, then Quan and I left the Mr.Joe alone. We were being too mean to him but you will never feel better when there is a guy following you on a ‘date’. ;X So we both went to MV, first thing to do FOOD which is SUSHI. We are sushi lovers so off to SushiZen, a place where I celebrated birthday two years ago. Well, this place remind me of the cupcakes.

“QUAN! You look so think in my eyes. ;)”

IKURA, it’s a MUST from sushi menu.

The adorable one. ;)

After dinner, we did what other girls will do which is SHOPPING but I got nothing for the day. Since, there’s nothing like what I was looking for I just help the love to get a necklace from Diva. Then help William to get his PS3 game, KillZone2. Then walk up and down, we saw an advertisement which wrote about YOGURT ICECREAM which it’s the princess love so we were trying to find it for like about an hour. Then finally found it from the information center. SPOON. This place it’s just beside Delicious like omfg, we been looking for it like an hour. Somehow, we tried how good was it. I ordered GreenTea with tiramisu and topping with jelly beans. Besides, quan ordered Original topping with GummyBears. It was just awesome. That was the time we chilled and the time the couple STALKED.

THEY WERE STALKING!

The best driver ever, <3

I suppose, they worried too much about me for being that curious on the boy. Somehow, am just glad that they cared. At least. ;) then about 9 off to TheGarden and get Heidi’s present from Quan. After that, it’s time to get back since my mum it’s waiting for me outside her place.

On the way to the basement, we love taking photos. ;)

The boss, driver and lover of hers. ;)

I HAD AN AWESOME DAY w/ PhangHuiQuan and HuiJoeYang.

Appreciate for the drive and opinions. ;)

memories of mine in this place.

2011-01-27T05:05:00.002+13:00

This will be a wordy post without any photos but description of the mood I had in SM today.;)

I went back to this place today. There’s not much different about StellaMaris just the paint and new juniors. Well, I went there around ten past three. First thing I saw was minicourt. I miss that place where the girls’ basketball team were held in with the sunny bright sun. Looking the juniors playing without pjk shirts on. Those were memories, anyhow I went through the office and the first teacher I saw. Mrs.Param , the best mathematic teacher. she stays the same but the first thing she call me was CARMEN. My reaction was wtf but this can be excused since she’s old and she doesn’t really like me for joining the boys in form 3M. oh well, that year was awesome but things also happened in that year. Anyhow, the first mate I saw was JernJeit. Yes, that chubby guy that talk craps. He was in a rush so we just hugged and saying hi&bye. ;) So I off to auditorium with my piggy leg from the back doors. Saw the guys having training. First to talk with KiatGee. He stays the same. Fair, talk, talk craps and eat. Then the coach came, I joined the girls. Yeap, PeiYi, XueSze and also Brenda. It’s been a month that I actually see Pei and Sze like seriously I miss them. Looking at them let me think of the time I stayed back in SM’s canteen and waiting for mum to pick me up. Brenda, the hun who used to stay back just for her boy,HanXian.

So we chatted and chilled for about 1 and half hour then Pei needs to get back home with her bro. Then it’s Sze’s turn. The hugs and photos weren’t enough for two years to keep. Oh well, they never like to take photos but at least one from each. Then walked down from audi to assembly hall to let them go off my eye sight. Walked slowly to audi again, I met Mr.Liew. The so called science teacher for the form 1s and 2s. We talked, he is getting older like seriously. Last time, he never talk so soft and never smile. Well, he talked about the gang that used to be together and how bad were we and how fun was the school with us and how troublesome were we. That were fun, that’s teenage life.

Got into audi, there were preparing to finish the training. Fortunately, some of them did talk to me or else I will be a freak at there. ;( Thanks to ChunWeng, KiatGee and HanXian. I met the skills of them and the players of SMSM. Just glad.

After that, off to mamak with HX,JY,KH and Brenda for about 20 minutes off to lrt station. They were in a rush only da and I took the same train and kh took the same way but different train. The other two off to ktm station. Today’s plan was all in rush but do appreciate that we say hi&bye also a smile from everyone of them. It’s been ages that I actually see them face to face with a smile. Hope I could have the same feeling again meeting them perhaps two more years? Just hope.

Oh, on the way to mamak I got questions from them about the same guy. That moment was funny.

-Whereyourbfcomefrom? -Howyoumeetyourbf?

-Whyyoulikehim? -It’salongdistancerelationship.

Thought of telling them the truth but no. Just let it be will be better. J

establish harmony and balance in your life.

2011-01-26T05:25:00.003+13:00

I’ve got two cases here.

His love problem and also her friendship’s problem.

A life couldn’t be complete if there aren’t any problems exist. This is just life, this is the challenge that you should be facing. Friends, love and family. For asian countries, family is not a problem at all but friend is ,so do love.

Friends, being left out by others or being blame by others or even being hate by others. Asian cant actually get into western country normally , there are always some racist people around. That’s how we live, having competition and also being strong at sometime. Even the friend you used to be close will never be there for you forever. They changed so do you, people have different opinion on their friends. Perhaps for me I think she changed to worse and maybe for her I changed to worst. That’s the point of all. You never know how a person feels until you ask and he/she tells.

Besides, love is also a problem in our life. We felt in love, but you never know would he/she left you or even he/she gets annoy about it. He/she could actually feels nothing with you and just trying to have some fun with others instead of you or even the ex. You never know how they think , you cant read their mind. All you can do it’s wait, try not to think much and also stalk. Other than that, if you ask in your mind will be wonders and some negative stuff so all you can do it’s wait for him/her to be the one who started the topic.

A point to male readers, females wouldn’t want to be the one who starts a topic without the relationship. All females do is wait and wait and wait for the guy to be the one first. That’s all.

Pistanthrophobia

-the fear of trusting.

extra post.

2011-01-23T04:50:00.001+13:00

Tomorrow’s plan, paintball with the company if I can run. Or else, movie with sis and being a lifeless person. Eight hundred and one post, should be sad but just sad things came into my mind. Oh well, I heard a true fact from my bro.

“You don’t need to stalk your lover, it will only let you miss him/her more and making yourself hurt if you saw something bad. Being couples should trust each others not stalking their profile and guess.”

Now I just realize, my brother who’s only 14 years old so fcking mature on these things. Some how, this is just so true. People change, some act they are young and some act they are mature and some just think different form others. Well, everyone has their own mind to think. Just like having different taste on a bag. This is life for everyone. Being left one it’s not a problem, find the solution or else get a person who’s in the same situation.

Although I Need You

2011-01-22T20:46:00.002+13:00

This girl it’s just awesome. If I’m not mistaken she’s only 19. Like wth, how could a girl sings so well. With those voices. Oh well, not to say more click into this video and you know what I mean by “voices”.

鄧紫棋 – A.I.N.Y

分開以後每個夜晚　格外的寂靜

滴答滴答　剩大鐘在陪著我回憶

電話裡頭曾經是你最溫柔的聲音

現在只有空氣　冷寞地回應

OH　給你我的心　能否請你別遺棄

一句愛你愛你愛你愛你　能否再也不分離

OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂

就算愛你愛你愛你愛你　可能你也不想聽

你的擁抱曾經是　最溫暖最熟悉

現在換了誰安睡在你胸口的位置

你的承諾曾是一種不自覺的甜蜜

現在一劃一筆　刺在我心裡

OH　給你我的心　能否請你別遺棄

(I gave you everything, Never Asked for anything)

一句愛你愛你愛你愛你　能否再也不分離

(I wish that you could stay, Ha! It's just my wishful thinking)

OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂

(I gave you everything, But all I got is pain)

就算愛你愛你愛你愛你　可能你也不想聽　你不想聽

(Although my heart is bleeding, You still don't feel a thing)

回憶　對你最後的回憶

(回憶最後的回憶)

是你　慢慢走遠的身影

(是你走遠的身影)

然後你　離開了沒有痕跡

(然後你　離開)

然後我　崩潰了放縱哭泣

(然後我　哭泣)

恨你恨你　每當我想起曾經

(恨你　每當我想你　每當我想起曾經)

曾經曾經曾經曾經......

還是愛你愛你愛你愛你

難道還不能清醒

OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂

(I gave you everything, Never Asked for anything)

一句愛你愛你愛你愛你　難道你也不想聽

(I wish that you could stay, Ha! It's just my wishful thinking)

OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂

(I gave you everything, But all I got is pain)

就算愛你愛你愛你愛你　不值得為你傷心　傷心

(Although my heart is bleeding, You still don't feel a thing)

Your confession remains to be my final pleading,

but the only thing that's here with me is tic tac tic tac tic tac tic tac......

作曲 Music by G.E.M. , Lupo Groinig

作詞 Lyrics by G.E.M.

編曲/監製 Arranged & Produced by Lupo Groinig

________________________________________________________________________________________

Awesome aye? Besides , she sings LIVE is even better. The first song I got inspired by her, was ‘Where Did You Go?’. This song is still in my playlist like keep repeating non- stop. She is just awesome, people!

we just broke up.

2011-01-21T06:09:00.002+13:00

It’s Thurs, public holiday for M’sia. Suppose to go out today due to some personal problem am not but at night. The buddies called to Carmen and hang out to have dinner. Somehow, I miss having a dinner and chat time with them. Had Korean food with quan was just FUNNY. Every time she asked for Korean food first thing to ask. Is the spoon in round shape and it’s the chopsticks they had are flat? Interesting aye, she needs to have feel to have Korean food as a meal. What an adorable one. After dinner head back to Klye’s house, for chill but it didn’t work out just some people sitting in front of the TV playing phones, iTouch and iPhones. Lol, this is teenage life for lifeless people like me. ;)

Back to the post title.

We just broke up.

Well, when I was small I dream to have these things happen. Yet I got it for a week and it just breaks away. I never had a dream come true, not even one. Having wishes on birthday, DOESN’T work. Wishing on 11:11, just the same. Nowadays, I wish almost the same wish and it doesn’t work. Perhaps, wishing too much that’s why I NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE. I saw something that I shouldn’t have click in and see. I have no idea why am I felling this but it just hurts. Not that much but it just hurts. It’s been ages that I actually had this feeling. It cannot be explain, it’s like taking something out of your brain and trying to delete it. Besides, having the feeling would actually make the tears workers work so hard for this time. I have no idea why but it just work for this time. I realized one thing, don’t be a stalker to certain things, never have the curiosity to things that might hurt you. Even in your mind that is a might but after you seeing something that doesn’t worth a tear just forget about it.

THE CURIOSITY & JEALOUSITY .

THEY KILL.

hope you'd.

2011-01-18T06:43:00.001+13:00

I just hope we’ve got more time to appreciate all these things we’ve been through but it’s too late. Everything I get depressed you weren’t here besides I don’t know how you feel for these and that. Oh well, we’re just cant appreciate too much to each others. It might breaks, this is life no matter what. Friends break through walls. Family get you over and love just leave you a sweet memories behind these walls. Hope someday you will realize and you’d join us .

I’m totally fine. Just depressed.

Hun, online earlier so we could have more time to appreciate each others. ;X

the best late night in 2011.

2011-01-17T05:53:00.003+13:00

The best Sunday I ever had in 2011. To say this is a good sign for having her around. Went to The Mines with a bitch who bluff me to go at 3 and she’s LATE (CarmenPang). Oh well, just trying to get used to it. Anyhow, I watched Paranormal Activity 2. It was awesome at the first but the ending just make us forget about what’s the movie about. Before watching the movie we had a sweet chat time at fruitland. A not so clean restaurant. After the movie we went to LakeSide if I’m not mistaken. Since my dearest Carmen wanted to shisha and omg, I accompanied her. I hated that so much but I’m allowing her to get it infront of me. Nvm, once a year will never die. ;) Had fun with it for like nearly 2 to 3 hours. It’s just making me wanna bath ‘cause it smells. Took over 100 photos I suppose? Just for this half day. We made promise for 2012. What a great friend I have to make this promise. Shisha. Omg, please no addiction.

This bitch is just awesome.

I love her.

Get your new sign.

2011-01-17T05:12:00.006+13:00

As everyone out there were talking about the Zodiac Signs. Oh well, it’s true. The new astrological signs. Apparently it’s something to do with the earth’s rotation that was changed the way the planet is aligned to the stars. Whereas, the earth’s relationship to the stars are now different than when the first zodiac signs were created.

Omg, I was so glad that I’m a scorpio but now no more. D; I’m a Libra. Noooooo. ;/

To find your new star ?

Read these.

New Dates of 13 Signs

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16

Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11

Pisces: March 11- April 18

Aries: April 18- May 13

Taurus: May 13- June 21

Gemini: June 21- July 20

Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10

Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16

Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30

Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23

Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29

Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17

Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

What is your new sign? do comment.;)

I'm tired so let me be broken.

2011-01-16T05:17:00.001+13:00

Have no idea what to feel right now.

All I can do is be me. Whoever that is.

Wish I was dare to post what I’ve actually written but no.

I took a step to be the first one today but all I got from you was nothing. Being sarcastic enough, I’m just so glad with what you’ve done. Our conversation is getting shorter and shorter, it gets faster than how I imagined. Well, I couldn’t wish this never happened before but please tell me how you actually feel. What do you want from me.For you and yes only you.

best hang out I ever had for this one time.

2011-01-15T07:14:00.001+13:00

This is me and this is just what I love for.

That’s not a problem but love. I love how we used to be super close friend and now we’re like stranger. I hate how we used to be enemy and now we’re friends that can ask anything about. Oh well, I wasn’t suppose to walk out but then someone’s plan is on and it was a must so yea. I went to SM with Joe, Quan and Jing. Thanks to Joe, wasn’t that good to let Joe to be the driver but still thanks a lot , bro. <3>

Anyway, after got into SM called the boss and yes it’s been ages that I actually see her. EeWeiYen, Janice and also XinYiing. I wasn’t surprise but I was surprise that I see the guys that used to be in the same last with me two years ago. I just miss them so freakin’ much that I cant actually speak out a word. Then heading to TS , meet up CarmenPang that crazy ass. Off to OldTown trying to have a long chat time since she and yiing supposed to leave at 4 then the true time she left was 6. We are just so good in chatting about past and present. Besides, while we were chatting SzeYuin came and yes she sounds still the same as last time and omg she had a hair cut. People today were almost all are using iPhone and it makes the crazy ass wanna get an iPhone instead of a BB which mean she’s so gonna break her promise. ;(

Then off to Pv with the other threesome (Yen,Janice and Quan). Joe dropped us off and heading back home was sorry to make an awkward scene. Anyway, off to pv ofcz we did shopping and trying out clothes just had fun that we actually forget about the time. After shopping have our dessert at Snowflakes. This store is making M’sians insane, all of them .Then around 8, Yen’s dad called to rush home. Then the other two plus me off to Fahrenheit 88 to get dinner, saw Gi and Brenda. Was kinda angry that Brenda ditched us but nevermind she got her own choice. Already get used to it. Heading back to quan’s place and let the aunties to have some chit chat time while I called someone to wish him and discuss things with quan.

Well, today was awesome enough to be like everyday I wanted to. It wouldn’t be. So photos will be up but it takes tons of time to upload 5 photos ‘cause the size of it is just TOO BIG. ;X

As I get home, turned on the computer I started to miss him.

Yes, nearly everytime like omfg.

oh well.

2011-01-15T06:40:00.000+13:00

I’d never be :

-good enough.

-skinny enough.

-pretty enough.

NEVER.

late post. ;X

2011-01-13T05:16:00.000+13:00

This should be up last night. ;x

11^th January.

As last night I came back from the 7 days trip and today I thought I would stay at home and having some kinda of fun with my super ‘fast’ uploader for about 700 photos from the trip. Yet, called SaikHoe (itwasamissedcalled) and yes I miss him. Not to forget the love one, PhangHuiQuan. I called and kept asking where is she while she’s at car heading back home. Told her I would be there but actually I didn’t have any transport as mum gonna go facial and sis went out with her friends. So yea, SaikHoe returned the call it was short but saying that he will be at home and Carmen gonna find him soon. So she’s been forced to have 6 people in a not so big car. (KahYan’s) head to her house to get another car so two cars and go to Hoe’s place. Reach there around dinner time. Saw his family all together and yes I’m toally in love with him and his family!

Anyway, had dinner at their place. Mcd and PizzaHut. Then Kenji called for karaoke. The night was awesome overall one thing is karma. Due to a reason, I stopped Quan for joining us I fell down from a some kind of staircase. Karma aye. So now I had a pair of piggy legs, abnormal walk style and ugly leg. Omfg. I want it to be recover real soon. Friday’s outing and next week’s. darn darn darn.

Dad, please let me get out of the house so I wouldn’t get sick and my leg needs exercise. ;X

p/s: photos will be upload soon. ;X

sorry for the wordy blog post.

they thought.

2011-01-13T04:50:00.001+13:00

They thought of random things but pretty true.

As the facebook relationship status changed, likes and dislikes were up. Also wonders, they wonder who is he and also is that true that we both are together. Oh well, let’s keep this little secret. I told somebody about the whole thing and yes I told her the feelings I used to have and the one I’m having now. That’s the secret . ask more dear.